Struggling with comparison with others my age lives

Struggling Help
#1

I’m really struggling right now with the fact I am starting over completely from the ground up right now. I keep feeling like such a failure and more dumb than anything on being 30 and having nothing to really show for my life up to this point. I just was laid off so now I’m back to square one, was getting ahead with finances paying down debt and now I’m burning through my savings rushing against the clock to get something secured. I also lost my license a few years ago due to my addiction and it’s my fault but can’t drive which makes me feel like I’m not worthy of having a relationship with a girl or they won’t accept me. I just moved back from Indi to Michigan so now I have to restart at a new location. My brothers moving forward getting married and bought a house and he’s sober and I hate that I honestly am jelpus and I shouldn’t be. I wake up right now with just anxiety for the day and I just am trying so hard to not lose it all again. Im so tired of the inconsistency in my life because of me drinking.

I need some inspiration or just some advice here? I barley have any finances right now due to me being irresponsible and just wanna give up. But I don’t. I just feel like a complete loser and I’m afraid to talk about it because I’ve burned a lot of bridges over drinking the years. I really need some advice ppl or a pep talk to keep going. How do I take this sick pit out of my stomach and just push hard forward. On the job thing It’s been 1 1/2 months of horrible interviews going no where I’m just losing hope right now. Help

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#2

Hey man. We have all felt that anxiety, fear, self loathing. It’s the addiction trying to worm its self back into your soul.
You have savings! Yes you may be using it but you have it right now. Be thankful for that.
Perhaps a fresh start is what is needed! New opportunities, new people, new places. We have all had to start from the beginning.
Have you thought about a career change? Construction is always looking for labor. I have made a fantastic living, and I had no experience when I started. But it was at the bottom. I busted azz and now, I am an expediter for a multi million dollar company. You can get there in whatever field you choose. As far as feeling like a loser.. you are upright, and making the effort to better yourself! That’s courageous, not losing.
You got this man! One foot in front of the other.

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#3

I’m sorry to read that you’re struggling so much right now. It’s a tough thing to break out of when you feel like everything is going wrong… I’ve definitely been there and hope you are OK.

I also feel like a loser compared to other people my age sometimes, but then I kick myself and remind myself to focus on me, my own goals, and my own values. The path I’ve taken is the path I’ve taken & it can’t be erased. My finances are in ruins because of drinking, and I am the only person I know who doesn’t own a home… BUT… I am rich with friends and prioritize relationships over money. I also have no desire to become a homeowner.

So why beat myself up? I focus on the positives such as being proud that I live within my means and am very creative because I don’t have much money… I also don’t have to shovel snow, mow grass, or pay for repairs around my apartment, etc, because I rent.

Sorry for the ramble. I guess I’m encouraging you to look at the good things in your life and try to focus on them. Try not to compare yourself to other people… They haven’t walked the same path as you and haven’t had the same experiences/opportunities/disadvantages as you. Just stay focused on your own goals and you’ll get through this difficult time. Good luck.

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#4

Thank you. I do believe it will be a career change. Can I actually speak to you about the construction path? I’d like to get into it honestly. I just don’t know how I’d like to pick your brain a bit to figure it out

#5

Hi!! I'm not sure if this could help, but I hope it does. My father didn't get sober until he was 38. When I was a young kid he went to jail for 3 years then moved to FL to go to rehab. He got very active in AA & is still to this day 35 years later. Long story short, after rehab he started working with a surveying business, ended up starting his own company, sold it & is now a millionaire. He just retired & is traveling happily with his wife. Point of my story is 'make your own path, it's not too late, you're not too old. That's BS'. You can do anything. Keep your head up, you got this. :heart:

#6

I sent you a dm

#7

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

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#8

Yeah tell me about it… starting to wake up here

#9

I feel your pain. If you need to talk I can share part of my story with you. But I can assure you that if you work for it, you will be amazed at how much better it can get.