Struggling with emotions loneliness because of all my past relationships

Struggling with emotions loneliness because of all my past relationships I’ve screwed up and looking back I regret a lot of things and it sucks that I did all these things to myself but now I’m living in this massive all sorts of things and I pray that he gets better faster than I realize I just hate it every time I have money it goes towards something that I did states that I caused just all kinds of things and it’s depressing sometimes I just don’t want to do it but I’m going to keep trying because I know it’s all I have to do but I wish I never did any of it I wish that addiction never got so bad today I’m a little over close to two months over and I’m proud that I’m still clean even though I still have using thoughts and think it’s OK but I know that when I use it just gets worse every time so I’m happy for my CleanDay June 11 and I’m happy that I know God loves me and then I have a family that cares but I just wish these using thoughts and thinking of depression and loneliness which is stop overcoming my positive thoughts I sure did some thing is it make me very depressing in my eyes please I need prayers for these things are making me think the worst

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