Nobody is worth a relapse
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I have had the exact same experience! And I too work in recovery. The guilt is so strong and I feel like I have let myself down. But I pray and I pray and I pray!!!! You get the picture!! Because when I do this, it helps me understand that God still loves me and still uses me. And check this out, I can use that quote unquote relapse as a reminder about how to respect the disease of addiction. Hope this helps. Blessings and love.
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Here's to 7 more months!!!!
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I know. And that is the miracle, one of many, of recovery. A common problem and a common solution. 4 + years for me to finally be done after rehab in 1990, and sobered up in May 8th 1994. I was too young, I told myself. And that was not me doing it, but the spring board promise of step 2, that set the stage of recovery. A power greater than me, which was everyone in the meetings. Restored me to sanity (reality) in
Even today my sponsor tells me to work recovery 1st then all the knots will untie themselves. They told me no girl friends for one year, and I said sure, then got married that 1st year, haha what an alcoholic.. she went into Alanon. And I stayed sober our entire relationship. She died of cancer in Mar 2022. Too young.
I luv what I call un-numbered promises and step 10 tells me that I have ceased fitting everything including alcohol. That when tempted I would recoil from it as from a hot flame as long as the stayed in fit spiritual condition. Never that I would ever be that way, but I changed as time went by and as I worked the steps with a sponsor. When Cathy died with a horrendous cancer during COVID, I never even considered, thought, of taking a drink and surely understand why some do. I thought Daily about getting out of my pain though called my sponsor every time.
Always try to stay out of absolutes though sometimes my experience comes in absolutes and I can promise you that promise of Step 10 will happen, as you move forward. And that feeling over ur relapse experience, as that is now ur experience, will come to be part of ur most powerful recovery tools and spiritual experience. U’ll never think, “I wondered what happened” and it will help u help others in ur recovery and sponsees and clients
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You relapsed due to your choices. Find a sobriety-partner or accountability partner & call them often!
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To me, no person who questions my decision to not pick up a substance is worth trying to have an intimate relationship with. At least not to date and get involved with. It sounds like he had the problem with you , not you. He can go kick rocks!
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We're all human Ciera. You have learned from it also. Just as when we do an inventory there is good and bad. It was a lapse not a relapse anyway! Also people places and things. And you we're also totally disrespected . Self centeredness is the root of our disease but being really real we have to be very self centered about our recovery. You are definitely practicing the 3 very important spiritual principles honesty open-mindedness and willingness. Also lapses and relapses do not mean you are not as about recovery as someone who hasn't. We all have our own journeys!
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It was an experience and that's what you can take from it. You're better prepared than you were before your hiccup.
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