Struggling with sober dating

Recovery
#1

Struggling with sober dating

5 Likes
#2

Dating sober, drunk, whatever is a challenge. People are nuts.

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#3

:rofl::rofl: I’ve been here for a few months, and, when I go to the dating side, there’s nobody else in my area!! Good luck out there! Just thought I’d share​:man_shrugging:

4 Likes
#5

Seems to be the trend.

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#6

You really see the real person on the other side being sober. No more beer goggles and surface level understanding

#7

Ok I'll put it out there. I'm 66 single. In Jersey 15 min from NYC, 18 months sober. Might be nice to chat.

#9

:rofl::rofl:

#10

Hahaha yep.

#11

I don't recommend people get into dating until they have some serious sobriety time under their belt. Relationships can be a beautiful thing but no matter how perfect the other person may seem, they're not perfect and it will present challenges that are hard to meet if you're not standing on solid ground.

Most young people these days are codependent because they've never really lived by themselves for any length of time. We leave our mothers and fathers and we move right in with someone.

This I know because the same thing happened to me. I had a sponsor back in 2003 who encouraged me to stay away from women for a while until I could figure me out. This is when I learned that I was codependent. It was a time of great growing for me.

During this time out I acquired much knowledge and wisdom in order to be a productive member of society and developed the qualities of a good husband with something of value to offer my partner besides s e x.

To him I will be eternally grateful and I'm happy to say that I am very happily married these days because of those choices.

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#12

This comes up when looking for sober dating but I find it to be more of a sober support app.
Which it is great as. Who knows. Sober dating is hard. Or for me too.

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#13

Same

#14

I sucked at drunk dating too. So it’s not a big surprise that sober dating isn’t a cakewalk.

I’ve been single for 90% of my sobriety. The 10% that I was in a relationship was great until it wasn’t and then I was a basket case. I learned a lot about life on life’s terms. A lot about control. A lot about the serenity prayer.

Maybe I’m scared. Maybe I’m lazy. But I’m not forcing anything. If I meet someone and there’s a spark and it’s meant to be, it will be. But I’m not seeking anything. No tinder or bumble or Cupid or farmers only.

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#15

I’m having the exact same issue. Being sober has opened my eyes to behavior I’ve ignored or didn’t see for years. Especially while on a date. I wish you luck.

#18

That’s there is funny :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: thanks for the chuckle this morning.

#19

Ain’t that the truth

#20

Which is advantage you would think! See the gold and bad

#21

Yes absolutely!!! My expectations are clearer and more alert to red flags

#22

Also don’t feel like explaining to people why I don’t drink. Not an issue with friends or family but is an issue when meeting new people

1 Like