Struggling with sobriety and relapses

Struggling Help
#1

Hello everyone, first time poster here so apologies in advance.

I have been sober for a little less than a year now after my drinking lead to a hospitalization. I recently relapsed due to some very poor mental health issues combined with feelings of isolation, im still kicking myself about it, feel like im weak and that ive wasted my time.

Due to my financial issues, I live with my family who is not very supportive when it comes to addiction, and I dont know what I can or if I can tell them to make things easier to understand. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

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#2

I totally understand you. I have over 2.5 years sober but I've been struggling big time. I'm a 1st time poster as well. I started drinking heavily due to a break-up after 10yrs together. I now feel used and have found out he had been cheating way more than he said. I feel so stupid. But anyway the reason i quit was i tripped over an extension cord and tore all 4 of my rotator cuffs in my left shoulder. I was a self-employed hairstylist for over 35yrs. Now after 2 surgeries and 2yrs pt I still can't lift that arm more than 90 degrees. I went to NA to help me, and it did help me. I got a job at Kroger and that lasted almost 2yrs. I have been unemployed for over 2 months now. Ive sent in over 500 resumes and gone on maybe 35 interviews. If it weren't for my family financially helping me...i dont know what I'd do. But I still can't really discuss much about struggling with maybe drinking again. I still haven't but God I want too. And that doesn't even make sense to me bcuz it ruined my life. So I finally got a job! I was soooo excited and had a lil bit of self worth back. They just fired me on my 3rd day! All bcuz I dont have much computer ability. I even told the guy that that hired me. "Oh don't worry about that, were going to train you." He kept saying that over and over. I just can't believe this has happened to me! I still haven't told my parents. I'm so embarrassed! I feel so dumb! I'm so sick of feeling everything! I'm very isolated as well. Just me and my dogs. I know this is so long and I'm sorry but when I saw you were struggling too, I decided to finally let it all out.
I'm sorry you're struggling. Have you tried meetings? I decided to do NA instead of AA. No reason really. I felt like i fit in better at NA. You can be yourself and not be judged. I didnt do the step wrk but the meetings still helped. Ever since I went to wrk at Kroger i just wrked so much and got away from the meetings. Now I'm all alone and just want to hide out.

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#3

Thank you for replying, I’ve had very similar issues so I understand how frustrating it can be.

I did try AA meetings for a little bit but I ended up feeling more embarrassed for some reason, I might give NA a shot or look for some kind of support group that’s online where I wouldn’t have to be in person or show my face if that makes sense

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#4

Hell9, thank you both for your transparency. My disease, alcoholism, wants me to isolate and tells me things that are contrary to the truth. I have some time (One Day at A Time, like others) that can be seen on Loosid (I think) I have experience with this recovery thing.

After my amputation I didn't work the Program for a long time, about 1.5 years. I was feeling restless, irritable and discontent. What saved me from a relapse was my immobility, if I could get around, I may have picked up.

When I got mobile, I looked for meetings I could go to. I picked out a few, inside I was scared. Scared of being judged, scared of the people not liking me, scared that I would physically fall navigating new terrain.

I introduced myself as new to the meeting when asked. It's a tough pill to swallow, I thought people had questions, and they did. They weren't judging questions, they were questions of finding similarities and out of concern for me maintaining my sobriety.

I have found that what I put in is what I get out. If I ask for help, I get it. If I am asked to be of service, I do it and the returns are 100 fold. If I'm asked to be a part of the heard and participate in an activity, I bring more than enough food for someone to bring home.

Life isn't perfect. I'm a 53 year old divorced single male that is bald, with a right above the knee amputation, getting dialysis three days a week for about 4 hours each session due to kidney failure, and I live my parents thst treat me like I'm 12 years old. Yet it is a life worth living if I give myself to do some simple things in a design for living that's contrary to what I want to do naturally.

My hope is anyone reading this does the same.

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#5

You’re not weak, and you definitely haven’t wasted your time. The fact that you’ve stayed sober for months and that you’re here opening up shows strength and courage. Relapse doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made—it’s just part of the journey for many people.

It’s hard when family isn’t supportive, but remember, their lack of understanding doesn’t define your recovery. What you can do is focus on your support system outside of them—whether that’s meetings, online communities, or a sponsor. Even just talking with people who get it can make the isolation feel lighter.

Be gentle with yourself. Recovery isn’t about being perfect, it’s about getting back up each time. You’re learning and growing every step, and you’re not alone in this.

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