Struggling with my sobriety. Wondering if I really want it and why.
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That fact that you're here shows you want it Jessa. I'm only 104 days sober today and I feel like I'm a much better version of who I use to be. I'm 54 now and have been drinking since I was 17. Over the years I would go "dry" but never sober. Every time I came back to alcohol I drank more, had more black out nights, and even started drinking as I was sleepwalking. This last time, July 19th I woke up not knowing I did anything. My wife was upset and afraid of me, as well as my son. In my sleep on the night of the 18th I drank almost an entire 5th of rum, yelled at my wife and son for hours, and then started self harming myself with a knife. If I didn't have all the deep cuts on my arms as proof I wouldn't have believed it happened. That was my rock bottom. I said all of that just to show you every time you go back to that bottle life gets worse. You deserve to be happy! You deserve to enjoy life with a clear mind! You came to the right place and did exactly what you needed to do. Ask for help. I'm here for you and so are a lot of other amazing people!
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Sometimes we go through those highs and lows. The important part is not giving up when you’re feeling low. You posted and shared and that took strength. Keep going okay?
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What's troubling you?
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Hey look up on google there’s tons of 24/7 meetings on zoom still Friend
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Don't give up on yourself
Live does get better. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it. You find the write meeting and good people and start getting active and some of the things that are going on you'll see what people here are talking about. Just this past weekend I had the opportunity to go on a men's retreat along the coast here in Oregon talk about a spiritual experience it was wonderful I'm 57 and I have 43 years in addiction I have never been happier in my life being clean and sober
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That’s amazing. I actually live in Oregon myself. They had a handful of AA events this summer that I didn’t get to go to. I know I need to get back into it, life’s just been so busy it’s hard
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I live at the Oregon coast as well I just moved to Coos Bay
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So here's a little secret some of those AA get togethers and whatnot May charge money but if you let them know that you don't have the money for it they don't care they just want you there it's not about the money it's about you being there
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