I lost my wife of 35 years a little more than a week ago. I've been drunk on 3 different occasions. This is not the road that I want to go down. I know that I need to start going to meetings. I do Zoom meetings but I may also need some face to face. This is so hard for me to deal with.
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I’m sorry for your loss .
I’m so sorry you lost your wife. I can’t imagine how painful this is 
My deepest condolences.
I am so sorry for your loss and the depth of pain you are in. I lost my husband 5 years ago, and I understand the desire to drown it all out. Here's the thing, it will not change your hurt long term. Time will. Meetings or face to face therapy might. We are here, too. My thoughts are with you in this difficult time
E. You can stay sober. Reach out.
You are not alone in your struggles. My husband passed away and it’s some hard struggles. Wrap yourself with self kindness and remember your good memories you had. Sending you courage to get through the tough & heavy moments.