I’m currently a week clean. I’m going through a rollercoaster of emotions. Scared and feeling hopeless. I also suffer from bi-polar disorder so you can say I severely depressed. The love of my life left me with a broken heart but that’s part of the reason I chose to get clean. My addictions to crystal meth and fentanyl has cause me to lose a very important person in my life. Me and her have two beautiful children together and that’s another part of why I wanted to get clean. I miss the way things used to be and I never realized how lucky I was until it was all gone. I could really use some type of support system and I’m hoping I can find that on this app. Thank you…
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A lot of those feelings are normal for early sobriety. Are you in communication with you doctor? Treatment of the bipolar disorder might help a little but you doc can adjust to better help you get and stay sober.
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I have an appointment to see a psychiatrist but that seems so far away. They used to have me on ambilify and depakote and I’m trying to get back on it but its been a waiting game and everything is over zoom which makes me kind of uncomfortable but I’m currently waiting for my appointment date. Thank you for reaching out, I thought I wasn’t going to have any response on here.
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Hi Joshua and congratulations on a week! 
that’s a HUGE step in the right direction. The rollercoaster of emotions is normal in early sobriety, we have spent so long numbing the emotions that it can feel overwhelming to actually have to start feeling them. I also have bipolar disorder, and addiction and the bipolar go hand in hand. Getting sober will help your bipolar significantly. I see that you are seeking the help of a psychiatrist, which is great, treating your bipolar will make it easier to stay sober. In the meantime, what else are you doing to support your sobriety?
Great people on here …
Joshua one day at a time. You have to stay sober for yourself. I am also bipolar. Which I never knew till I got sober. I know for myself I have to take care of myself mentally and physically. So you might need to seek some help with your depression. Just don’t use. You do it one day at a time. You don’t have to do it alone. Go to meetings and get some phone numbers. But don’t forget to check in with your doctor about a referral for a Psychiatrist
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I’m trying to create routines like exercising, taking my kids out, cooking, doing projects, etc. Just trying to keep my mind busy. Thank you for your kind words and advice. It is much appreciated. I hope this battle gets easier as time goes on.
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There sure are great people on here
Thank you so much. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. That there is others just like me. It gives me a lot of hope.
Those are all good steps! I highly suggest seeking out some kind of recovery support, having a community is key to staying sober. AA/NA, SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma, and The Luckiest Club are all good options.
Joshua, you have several things going for you: you recognize your losses which are due to your addictions. You are capable of being honest & open & asking for help. And here's the big one: you are still alive despite using meth & fentanyl. You have other things to do on this planet, man, so congratulations on recognizing that & getting serious with your health. The first week is a mother, without adding the bipolar into it but you cannot treat the bipolar without cleaning up your addictions first.
This is an incredibly brave step you've taken♡ This app is great but please get a boots on the ground support system for both the addictions & the bi polar. Nami is an amazing resource for people & families that deal with bi polar or other mental dosorders.
https://nami.org/Home
You are on the right path, being sober will make everything better eventually.
Thank you, I will definitely look into those!
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Thank you! You are very kind, and your words are not taken lightly. It’s nice to hear that about myself, I don’t look at myself the way I should sometimes do it’s refreshing to hear that. I am also very thankful to be alive and survived through addiction. On May 8th of this year the mother of my kids found me dead on the bathroom floor of an fentanyl overdose. She called 911 and they were able to bring my pulse back even after being dead for well over 7 minutes, I’m so thankful that she was there to save me. I unfortunately have put her through so much, I wish she would look at me like she used to 6 years ago. But I only have myself to blame for that.
Thank you so much! I hoping for it and I can’t wait
I’m sorry your struggling! It will get easier know that! Your doing the right thing! Congrats!
That’s beautiful! Congratulations on one week.
It’s a tough spot don’t give up, find some local support clean dudes
I’m here to offer you HOPE that sustained recovery IS possible. I encourage you to get connected with a good therapist and local support groups. Remember we didn’t become addicted overnight and it takes time to heal. One day at a time.
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Congratulations! Early sobriety is hard but take it 1 day at a time, even 1 hour at a time. Keeping busy is very important to keep your mind occupied on positive thoughts. As time goes on the negative thoughts and feelings will become less and less. Patience is very hard right now but very important. Do not pick up or use no matter what. I took it one day at a time and celebrating 10 years of sobriety today.
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