Struggling

Recovery
#1

I’m still struggling with a recent breakup and doing it sober is hard! It was a codependent alcoholic relationship and there is zero chance of me staying sober if I was there. We split, I got my own place…and I know it’s :100: the right choice for both of us. He doesn’t want to quit, doesn’t think he has a problem. That’s his business, his choice. But I know I do, so here we are. It’s just tough, he was my “best friend”; but as I’m looking at it, was he really? I just had 5 months sober before my relapse and during that time, he drank daily in front of me and even had me picking it up from Kroger for him. That’s not support. :woman_facepalming:t3:

Anyway…just struggling with the right choice! It’s ok to miss somebody and still realize you are so much better off away from them.

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#2

I'm so happy to see you putting yourself first. We sometimes think our codependent relationships are our best friends but in hindsight usually they are not. You are doing the right thing. Happy you are here.

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#3

You know you better than anyone else knows you. Remember that. I just went through a break up myself and the biggest turning point was a quote from the web that said stop painting red flags green and do what’s in the best interest for your sobriety. So a few days ago I ended it and now I’m alone and trying to stay motivated while working on myself.

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#5

I really needed to read this: "quit painting red flags green". Thank you for sharing. :pray:t3:

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#6

Boundaries boundaries boundaries ! You’re so worth it :cupid:

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#7

It sounds like you did what was best for your life. Don’t try to worry about what ifs or whys. Keep moving forward, the further you get from your past the clearer it’ll get.

#8

Great place to start welcome aboard

#9

I have missed many people who I cut out of my life because they are toxic to me. You can miss him and still know he is not good for you. It is kinda like developing an allergy to something you love eating. You still miss it but your life is worth more.

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#10

Youll see the harder the choice the more you know it is right. As far as thinking about the past, upull find the more clear you get, your perspective will change and see things in a new light.
Best of luck, you got this!!!

#11

I know exactly what you mean, I was in the exact same boat. But she went to rehab and when she came out I quit and did so without rehab when I really should have gone. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. She supposed to be my best friend but treats me like a plague a lot of the time. I stayed out of rehab so she wouldn’t have to deal with the burdens of taking care of things at home by herself like I had to do while she was away. I’m probably going to end up alone and it scares me but it might be for the best, because if I stay the stress might cause me to relapse…anyway I’m glad you were strong enough to make the hard choice, welcome to sobriety.

#12

One of the hardest things about this has been going through it completely alone. I mean, my parents care but they’re my parents.

I have even heard a woman liken sobriety to weakness because she just “couldn’t see herself being with someone who’s sober.” Like, what the hel|?

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#13

Boundaries are so important, yet very difficult to continue. But rely on the strength you get from the like-minded people that identify. Which is me🤗Myers-kept relapsing and every time I set boundaries he would go to rehab do well for a short period of time and do it again. Well this last relapse he found a woman in there that moved him in, they are living happily ever after🥴or are they. God did for me what I was unable to do for myself, the only thing I could do was set boundaries

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#14

You sound like you have a good mindset in putting yourself and your sobriety first as you should. Just stand strong on your boundaries

#15

Good for you for realizing you and your sobriety need to come first! I had to learn that the hard way but so glad I’m sober now and I get lonely too sometimes. I had to cut almost everyone I thought was a “friend”. You’ll meet new people and will have a healthy relationship again, just give it time and stay strong girl :muscle:t2:

#16

I too went through a devastating breakup. Alcohol was the reason. I miss him so much and have so much anger that he abandoned me during this time of need.

#19

I’ve learned over the years that my sobriety HAS to always come first or I’ll relapse!
Sober now for 3 1/2 years and sometimes I know what’s good for me but it hurts!
Hang in there sweetie!!

#20

Amen! I have been there and sone that and it is very hard! Good for you for choosing what’s right for you. Breakups suck harder sober that’s for sure! Lol but you are in the right place doing what’s best for you and you can’t second guess it now, you know this is right even on the hard days when you just wanna text your “best friend” and miss him. I feel that, daily. But if he really was about what was best for you he would’ve respected your decision to improve your life and would have supported you. That is a hard truth to come to terms with❤️ hugs and best wishes, keep up the good work it is so worth it. I been gone a year and it’s still hard but still better. You deserve what’s best even if it’s hard.

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#21

It’s so hard to go through a break up anytime, let alone during early sobriety. You are doing the right thing. I’m so proud of you

#22

Early recovery and a breakup are so difficult. I know what you are going through. Hard to lose two relationships at once!

#23

You made the best choice. Don’t go back on it. Stay strong. I’m going through the same thing and I’m going to have to follow my own advice.

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