Everyday I wake up saying I won’t drink, but once the kiddo goes to sleep I betray my goal of not drinking. I really hate this.
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It’s gonna be okay! U def can’t do this alone either, life’s hard as it is. Do u have anyone u can call during the hours u wanna drink and maybe talk about it..
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Thank you for the kind words. Yea it’s tough. I do but I feel judged when I do.
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Brother you can call me when you are feeling judged. I got plenty of stuff people can judge me for to keep both of us busy on the phone. We are all here for you.
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I know ugh gawd I really do, im so sorry.. I’d def look into some online meetings maybe? I get it thou it’s soooo not easy when ur in early recovery..
See if you can make it one day sober. And take it from there. Do you attend AA meetings? It will help and it will get better.
You need to give yourself credit for making it until nighttime! So many people do not - start there! Give yourself so much credit for TRYING.
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Hello Matthew, sorry you're struggling man. If you realize that the benefits you subconsciously think you'll get from alcohol are illusions it will be easier to stop. There's a book that changed my life, Alan Carr's quit drinking without willpower. I would check it out man and let me know what you think.
You absolutely can not do this alone. We’re here for you for real but, your best help would come from calling and talking to your sponsor. If you don’t have one call your states AA Central office and talk with someone over the phone.
It is going to be okay. You will survive this! Pray and hold on to the love you have for your child, I had to sober up for my son, first, before I realized how worth recovery I am. And you will realize that too as soon as you are ready
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Hit a meeting, call someone
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I don’t have anyone
Truly, thank you everyone for all your kind words. I do have a family, so yes, in retrospect, I have people to talk to, but they are people who judge me. Part of why I drink is I’m not happy in my life and I’m not where I thought I would be. I turned 40 in 7 days and I’m terrified.
You need a support network. There are online meetings if you are unable to attend in person. Being among like minded people will give you strength.
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Go get a sponsor. Find other alcoholics give them your number. Call them. Connect with them. You get drunk. We stay sober. It's as simple as that. You think about drinking before your kid goes to sleep? Calling alcoholic telling you want to drink. You got this man. It's one day at a time. 24 hours. It's a pillow game. Alcohol is cunning baffling and strong and it's patient. It waits for you. Stay strong
That's not why you drink. We all drink because we're ill. Some people have a go, slow down, and stop switch. We only have a go. Google "Recovery meetings near me." Your life won't get better until changes are made, and believe me, it's better late than never. Your children will respect you more, your family will see the changes in you (hopefully, but if not it isn't about them anyway), and you'll feel more alive than ever after a couple of months. You can say goodbye to it. It's just a matter of accepting what the problem actually is and deciding to fix it with help from people who have had to do the same.
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I get man I truly feel for you. It’s heartbreaking and I know that. Please reach out or let me know how I can get a hold of you. It’s time for me help others. I’m here and I mean it! It such a rough road.
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Hi Mathew! I got sober my first time in my 39th birthday. I just celebrated one year again this week. I turn 49 in 2 weeks! Don’t let another decade slip by because I promise, and this is from my own personal experience, there is not a single drink in that decade of being in and out of sobriety and in and out of the rooms of AA, not one drink, that was worth it. Not one. I’m rooting for you! You can do this starting .. now. 
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Try hitting a meeting after you little one goes to sleep