Really glad to have found this community, it’s always nice to see and hear so many others have had and are having the same struggles as myself. I really want to be sober but find myself as a “chronic relapser”. It wasn’t until the end of a very toxic relationship that ended a few months ago when I tried to commit suicide (again) that I realized and accepted that I too was an alcoholic. Although the actions of previous years could have made that clear I guess that’s what it took to get to this point. Now I’m kind of stuck in a vicious cycle, I’ll get 24hr in and then somehow someway always convince myself I can do it again because “I can do it on my own” “ I can control it” I think the big book calls this a “self-will run riot” and I’m so sick of it. I’m tired of feeling sad and crying, tired of being sick, tired of putting my life at risk, tired of being the source of all my own problems and tired of so much more. How do you explain to someone of your suffering when you yourself are causing it😒 I feel like I’m losing my mind and I pray I have the strength to overcome this. My dad always told me “you have to want sobriety as much as you wanted the drink” and that I think is powerful, to go to the extent of getting sober that I always did to get drunk or hide drinking. So I think I just keep taking it one day at a time and recognize that I CANT do it alone. To all of you thriving in recovery I am so proud of you because I know how hard it can be. To those fighting your way out in the beginning like myself I pray for the both of us. I believe that we can make it out of this❤️
5 Likes
Great job recognizing you need help. We have all tried the easy softer way. Made deals with our self. Said we could go it alone. You may need to head to an inpatient program. Take yourself out of the equation for a spell. We all needed to learn how to deal with this addiction. It can be done! We got your back man! You are not alone.
1 Like
Thank you
Hey, connecting with others on this app is a great start. You don't have to go it alone. There are so many stories and people here who have similar situations, and we all are working to be better. Welcome to the team, we got you.
1 Like