With the " what will i do when the urge comes " unknowns right now. How will i pass time. It sounds awful but its. Struglle
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Urges are fleeting moments that will pass .. Meetings, supports groups, sponsor... be proactive and have a game plan to prepare yourself to deal with these urgeswhen they come about...the more tools in the tool belt the more we are equipped to fight back
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I would definitely suggest trying to steer your mind away from this kind of thinking. It’s okay to be apprehensive, and that feeling is valid, but trying to find something positive to look forward to will help you rebuild the pathways in your brain that gave you the same good feeling you had in active addiction. Literally, just practicing being happy will eventually make you happier. It’s science 
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I use the Play-the-Tape-Forward tool I learned in the SMART recovery meetings I attend regularly. For me, it's the same story every time I use. So I think about the outcome of using, or the end of the tape. It's usually the negative, bad feeling, or even worse thing that WILL happen if you use: feeling sick, the hangover, the guilt, legal consequences, maybe even death—the reason why you're quitting in the first place.
You know how your story plays out; you have seen it before, probably every time you use. Your brain doesn't use that memory when it's trying to trick you into using. That awareness, combined with doing something to get out of my head, such as: reading, podcasts, puzzles, watch TV, anything besides sitting there thinking about it. Before you know it the craving will pass.
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I try to stay in the present. Not easy!!! I try to trust that everything will work itself out in the future and I try to learn from the past. If I can I try to laugh about my craziness 
Hang in there, it’ll be alright
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In those moments, they will come, try distraction. I go on Loosid reading others posts, I play a stupid game on my phone, I play sudoku puzzles, read, meditate, eat a mint. Sounds funny but it's super soothing and by the time I'm done with the mint my craving is over or at the least more manageable. You will learn what works best for you. Best Wishes
~Peace
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@nashley492972 I agree with everything that has been posted above this post
Stephanie says it really well.
Not knowing what you’re going to do when an urge hits can scare really scare you at least it did me. ButI wanted sobriety so bad, I’d remind myself just how bad. Id remind myself how many things I have to be grateful for, or call a friend.