I feel like a complete asshole and so stupid. I attempted to ask somebody to to hit me up with a dealer. I feel like an utter complete bullshit. For asking such a question. I’ve never asked anyone about buying anything. In the past when I used, I was alone and I didn’t have people around me. It’s weird being in recovery now it’s making me want to use especially things I haven’t tried before. I’m both a little over six months from the liquid a little over one month clean from pills. Knowing me and my fed up self it’s probably just trying to self sabotage me. What thr heck is wrong with me. Will I ever give this a break and actually take my life fing serious? I see that it works for other people and I want
it for myself. I’m trying to get myself to believe that I freaking deserve it. It’s just so annoying how hard and frustrating it is to get myself to believe that I do deserve this.
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Get to 90 meetings in 90 days and you WILL succeed my friend.
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