Stupid rules i have to live by now! I have to live by certain rules by no choice in the matter ! Try that its that or hit the road! No say so! Wont matter! So live with it situation i live in today! Ahh mannn!!! Soberiety is so fun!! Man living more and more everyday!
When I had rules to live with to stay in the big bedroom I called my sponsor because I was having a fit and zi wanted to drink. He actually picked up the phone (I left a lot of voicemails) and the bewitching session was on lkke donkey Kong!
I started with, I've been sober for 44 (I don't remember the exact amount of time, it was early on) and I'm a changed person, and I shouldn't have to do yadda yadda yadda. This is crazy! She's crazy!
My sponsor then asked me a few questions
- How long was I actively drinking
- What damage did I create during that period
- Relative to my active drunk time, what is the percentage have I been sober
That put it in perspective. I asked if zi should say I'm sorry for the past 15 years. He said no, I was working Dteps 1, 2 and 3. He told me the time to make ammends will come. It's too soon and will be meaningless. He suggested to go to meetings, continue to worn the steps, read the book, work with him, help others, be of service, and follow the rules. The rules will change as my sobriety changes. Bit is an revolving process for me.
I was also told that if zi didn't do the work, there woukd be different rules to follow in my future. Rules of a 5150 hold, or a jail or prison.
The third option is to not have ANY RULES! I would be dead. To drink is to die.