Im starting to get really tired of going to the methadone clinic everyday. I haven't been able to move up in steps because my UAs get marked dirty if i dint take it. The only reason i ever miss a UA is because i sont need to pee on the random day they decided or i used the bathroom befroe left, so then they tell me to do it the next day. Well the first time they forgot to give it to ke the next day so i missed. The next one I couldn't dinthe next day because the stupid computers were down and that happened twice.
For the past like 6 months ive only needed two more clean UAs to move up a step, and stuff like this keeps happening.
Well im hoping this last UA I did is clean because it will be the last one I need to move up, but i relapsed on meth a couple weeks ago and im scared i didn't get it out of my system in time to be clean forbthis last one I just did.
I just want to be able to get take homes for the week and go in once a week.
It’s so frustrating when you’re actually trying and systems still make it harder. Keep going,
Don’t relapse and don’t pee before you are scheduled for one and you will move up in your steps
False positives are going to happen sooner or later, you have to accept it. Don't let it discourage you from being positive and doing everything in your power to stay clean and make progress. It's all in service of stripping away the old addict and growing into someone who takes responsibility for their choices, and commands the respect of the people that are put into their life. When you are working an honest program, everyone will be able to see that, and you will be surprised what people are willing to do to help you in your recovery. It seems like there's no end to the misery, but it does end, and if you make it to the end, it's worth every minute you spent struggling to get there.