good yesterday and I am grateful for being apart of the journey with and for others in recently discovering sobriety. The reality if contemplation is glaring with difficulty you can see. Stuggling with the pros and cons of taking a step that is emotionally difficult is hard to watch as a person farther along in recovery. The struggle is real and evident. Then there are members who have dissociative aspects of life and all the efforts made to get and stay sober seem mute. Signing your parent rights over to others is life altering and emotionally devastating 
. Sobriety is so important and yes, the emotions of life are felt and felt deeply. We just cannot heal our inner selves when we cannot even decide if we will be sober for just one day. They are not ready. IOP, PHP, Residential, MAT, Weekly OP....all options. Scared. Wavering. Choices. Consequences. Looming over anyone in these pits is hellish and horrible to watch. We can only be supportive of the choices they make in the right direction that points to a sober life. I am grateful to be part of the journey. Class was on problem solivng skills and 100 percent appropriate for where this group is. Some are sober and others are reporting continued use. My job is to teach the skills and knowledge of getting and staying sober. I also have to report to the courts their progress or lack thereof. That is the part that is not my favorite. No progress, fair progress, or good progress are my options. If one reports weekly continued daily use, then no progress has been made. That makes me sad.
I am grateful for the few clients who want to participate in MH treatment that is not focused on SU only and only want me as their coach. I am grateful to be able to soon provide this service. I sit for the state board exam for the PRS certification Tuesday. I hope I pass. The hardest part of the course is remembering all of the MH Acronyms found in the CBT techniques.
I am grateful for Lil Man and Shiloh. They are participating in life nicely. Together. Sharing space and me with minimal grumbling and no arguments. Shiloh, though she is 4 months old, act like an old lady. She is not a big time seeker of attention. She is satisfied with her squeaky toys, having her own bed out of the way, and being fed. She is so easy and laid back you would not even know this is a dual canine household.
I am not as broken today as yesterday and not healed as much as tomorrow. Recovery is a daily process. A journey. I am grateful for waking up and going to bed soberly. Grateful for the executive function of the wiser mind. Growing daily and learning more each day is a wonderful way to go. I appreciate others who are supportive and are supporting me in my daily journey. I am grateful, today.
Grateful. Sober. Strong. TODAY!