i’ve always self medicated to soothe any negative thoughts or emotions .
realizing though i am sober in terms of hard drugs i smoke weed daily , when i know i could be doing other more beneficial things to pass my time or calm myself down etc…
last night i was smoking am realized i wasn’t getting high anymore i have just been smoking to stay sane….
now i know i need to start tracking how much i smoke and make efforts to cut it down to only bed time and less of it.. until i can completely cut the dependency tie i have with it .
i started abusing substances when i was 13-14.. started popping OTC pills.. benadryl was a big one.
then lead to more OTC, pain meds, xanax, hallucinations, huffing paint , whippets, drinking …
then crack.
i got my bad a*s teenager phase done and over with .. thinking doing drugs and crime was cool.
Until it took the life of my friend, and almost mine and my bf at the time .
Now onto a much improved an better, happier, healthier me and can’t be happier.
learning as i go throughout this sober journey
only realizing today , that i am still addicted to weed .