Surfing the Urge of Anxiety

Struggling Help
#1

Would say I don’t know why but that’s not the case. I feel anxiety bubbling up and settling into my chest. Heavy.. almost semi paralyzing.. I dont want to use.

I wont use tonight, but looking into my soul and skimming off the top the feelings and then again, and again seeing what’s there. What feelings im having.. Insecurity’s.. Fears…

Check, Check 1,2,3 my motives…

What am I doing? Where am I going? I certainly know how I got here. But where is my heart?

Am I looking in the wrong places to heal my wounds.. am I doing the work? Is this sustainable?

Am I getting ready for a fall?

What will i do if I feel the full weight of my life’s choices?

For today I resolve to do a few things:

Don’t try to get even

Release resentments

No masking feelings

Don’t use no matter what

Be honest, transparent, but dont let my hearts motives set me up for a large fall.

Cautious…. Steady… move forward… slowly…

It’s ok to not be ok…. Im not as ok as I think…

My overly charismatic personality is overshadowing the reality of what I feel on the inside.

Tonight I will bear the pain of sitting with my feelings.

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#2

Thanks for the share! When I feel anxious and fearful, I realize it’s my disease/addiction/ego trying to cease control.
My solution is in affirmative action/service, prayer and meditation. The 12 steps helped me clean out all the regrets, and transmute negativity into positivity.
I’m here if you ever want to talk.

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#3

Thank you Danny. Im working through it slowly. Tiny steps.

#4

Beautiful post, so proud of you! One day at a time!

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#5

Thanks Zo! One moment at a time.

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#6

That’s great bro! Progress is usually in tiny steps and sometimes big steps.

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#7

I just read your post, Total.
My anxiety has really been eating away at me.
Thank you for sharing what you did.
Relatable.
How are you doing right now?

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#8

Thanks you for asking. I am doing well today had some surprises but im glad for them. I found that it is ok to sit with the strong emotions and im learning how to look at them as a way for healing instead of avoiding.

#9

That is awesome!
( I tried liking your response / I have reached my quota for uh, liking comments - chuckling )…wanted to respond and encourage you to keep going with this.
I am working on not avoiding, as well.
We can do this!

1 Like