I am miserable everyday. I have moments where I think I’m getting better but they don’t last long. I finally realized what my issue is and I’m sure a lot can relate.
When you tell me what to do, I will want to do the exact opposite and 100 times worse than you thought I would’ve.
I’ve got to let go of my pride and ego, surrender and follow the ways of those who walked before me. Or I won’t make it.
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Ego is a sumbitch for sure! Great job recognizing it. Keep following the program and the promises do come true
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Wish you swift healing. Agreed that Ego can be a killer, but building self respect is great. It's weird the relationship between pride and self respect. You can make it my man.
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Finding a sponsor, regular meetings and doing stepwork will help. Let Go, Let God.
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Ego is a natural thing . It’s hard to change what is so natural. But with time and work it will happen. Changing my nature changes everything else……fight the good fight …… you and your life are worth it. 
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So true. I turn 44 in a few hours and have done things my way more or less for 40+. I need a new hip, a new tailbone and a few new vertebrae for starters. The VA is who I depend on to make that happen and hence why I finally decided fentanyl was the way to go. All this to say, I am sober. I don't expect a thing from the VA and am happy for what I do get, but most importantly, LEARN THIS LESSON.
"My way" can have consequences one would not eve. dare imagine. Any time I thought life couldn't be worse, it got worse. Surrender is so key. Surrender to what? Goodness, love, selflessness, mercy. All that happy feel good BS. There is something there and I hope you find it brother.
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