"Survivor's Guilt"(?)

Mental Health
#1

Been struggling with something I can only call analogous to "survivors guilt", or something. I went through an in-patient treatment program a while back, haven't had a drink since. My life seems to only be improving in the measures I can assess- but every person I "graduated" with has fallen over time. I've been sober a year and some change, and the last of the others from the photo on my desk have relapsed. I don't know why but it makes me feel like I'm... cheating, or something? I don't understand it. I feel out-of-place everywhere, because I don't have any friends who went through it with me anymore, people elsewhere such as work don't understand or care about the recovery thing, which is fine- I don't know.

Just feeling adrift.

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#2

It could just be that you are working on staying sober🙂

#3

Could be. Just a passing malaise, I suppose.

#4

Just don’t drink!

#5

Wasn't planning on it

#6

Thomas you are not alone. I did out patient for a while. And yes I saw and heard some had relapsed. And as sad as it is, for them., be grateful you are alive and here, sober. I often say the margin is thin… between me and the rock bottom mom who loses custody of her kids- between me and a drink. But I’m grateful I am here today. Yes the path is sometimes lonely. But think of all of us here. The community is real. You’ve got this.

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#7

Hey Thomas. I suppose this could be something to be grateful for. Nice job on staying sober for sure!

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#9

We all have resentments and guilt for our previous actions in active addiction, but by the grace of God, we are only human we’ve made many mistakes however their is forgivenes might should ask Your higher power for forgiveness and strength, if you believe that trust the Lord & try to obey blessings will come your way, promise :pray::pray:

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#10

I'm a little confused,you obviously are struggling. I have been diagnosed with ptsd, they say I have issues with my buddies dying in combat. I need more of why it's survivor guilt or something else. What has your heart feeling down?

#11

I feel the same. A lot of my “group” have relapsed and sometimes I feel guilty about doing well. It’s sad.

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#12

I understand what he’s saying. I feel guilty I am doing well when some of besties are near death, suicidal or in the hospital due to relapse. Fearing for a friend right now I haven’t heard from in 3 days, afraid she’s relapsed and worst scenario OD’d on fentanyl her DOC.

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#13

I have felt this as well. Right after treatment my best friend from treatment were in the same IOP. But she stopped coming couple weeks in. My other little girlfriend only lasted a week on the outs. This disease is no joke. It waits for your weakest moment and strikes. Thats why we must stay vigilant in our sobriety. Mindfulness & coping skills are our best weapons against preventing relapse.

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#14

That's a terrible feeling, I hope there ok.

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#15

Wasn't trying to trivialize what you've been through. Just didn't know how to put it.

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#16

I work on it daily. Why I keep the app, keep meetings, keep church, keep sober friends. All I can do.

#17

I live in a sober living house and I have seen many people relapse and it bothers me especially when I have become close to them. I have learned to break away and concentrate on the fact that relapse is not an option for me. I enjoy my life being sober and do not want to go backwards. Focus on you!

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#18

Thomas, we all have an important place in this world …each of us is significant and different .. all on different paths.. all loved by a caring loving god..bless us all

#19

It sounds potentially like imposter syndrome. Also, you could just be a compassionate person who sees people struggling and wants to help others. You deserve to be happy. You deserve your success. You worked for it. You have to balance helping others with helping yourself. Most people relapse at some point. The others can get better, but ultimately only they can help themselves. You can be there to support if they need it, but you can't do it for them. Addiction is very common. There'll be people who don't care and don't understand, but I've also found a lot of people that either do understand or can sympathize because they know an addict. I think it's easy to feel adrift in life even without the sobriety component. Give yourself some credit though for how far you've come!

#20

I've been there. Remember, their relapses have no bearing on your recovery, your sobriety, or your willingness to put the work in to remain sober. You cant take responsibility, as it was their actions (or inactions) that lead to their relapse. Statistically, not everyone makes it. Its unfortunate, but true.

What you can do is keep working on you, and should they be open to it, be there when they need you.