Take nothing for granted

Recovery
#1

I dislike having low energy it sucks. I’m usually more productive and athletic. I guess these are the side effects, of being 24 days sober.

Yesterday was weird because, I had an odd craving for it. I haven’t had one in a while. I used to get worse cravings so bad I looked like a crack head. The closer I get to being sober. The more I realize my body is falling apart.

A buddy of mine helped me realize, it was just gasoline fuel to keep me going from the trauma & stress. Now I have to learn how to manage my emotions without the narcotics and deal with these negative thoughts.

Two things I’ve noticed being in my hometown. The environment isn’t the best. Also, I hate that I’m reliving my whole childhood & teenage memories again. I could quickly relapse here if I wanted too. But the déjà vu is getting frustrating.

One of the things that really helped me detox quicker, was my gym back in Houston. I did 40 mins of cardio. 30 minutes of lifting. I also used the hot tub & steam room to remove excess toxins.

Today I realized, I have none of those tools to help with my detox process. Sorry if I sound pretentious but I’ll never take anything for granted again.
I come form a small town, so I hope you can relate with what I have to say.

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#2

It's tough. All of My childhood friends are dead, in jail, waiting to be arrested or gone from the area. Sometimes getting away is best. I live about an hour from where I grew up and aside from visiting my brother, I just DONT go back. My best friend from childhood is strung out and just lost his mother and it hurts to not be able to be there for him however the decades of trying to be a positive influence in his life have only led to relapse on my own part so I leave him to struggle, as my kids deserve no less.

Pre-workout drinks we're always helpful for me, in regard to energy. That and DIY smoothies. We ain't getting any younger, that's for sure, so let's agree that the drugging is a very dumb idea. I always said I would not be that guy going back time and time again for a day one chip. Yet I find myself getting ready to go to my meeting of choice tonight and getting a day one shift after avoiding my doc for almost 2 years.

Tonight I will take that walk of humility up to the stage and grab my day one chip once again. And as I walk back from that stage I will have my head up high in confidence that I will never take that walk again!

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#3

Thanks josh this was helpful

#4

Those feelings are hard to move through especially the low energy/detox state but they will pass, they are temporary. It’s one day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time. Side note-that city scape is beautiful. Where is that?

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#5

Houston! This is my spot to get away from people and destress

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#6

Beyoncé’s hometown?! Cool :slight_smile:

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#7

Lol yes :raised_hands:t3:

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#8

How’s the detox going? Feeling any subtle shifts or improvements?

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#9

Sleeping better. Heart feels weak. But my tongue is super dry idk why