Talking with the guy's in the program about "Change". I

Recovery
#1

Talking with the guy's in the program about "Change". I will hear why change is hard, how it takes time to change or you can't change over night. I don't think it's so much about change. I believe it is the fear of knowing how change happens that we struggle with. If you understand how change happens and that it is a process. You will see that fear is a choice. The thing you hear the most in programs is that you need to change and we all agree. What you don't hear is how do we change? I try to help others by explaining the process. Three parts to Change

  1. "Change"means that you first make the decision. You change your mind. This happens as soon as you make the choice. This is cognitive.

  2. "Changing" this where you take action. Follow a plan, get help support. This is behavioral .

  3. "Changed" this is where you get the desired out come. The Reward.

The truth about change is that it is happening all the time with or without you. Start using the power of Choice it is the biggest tool you have to start the process of change. Don't be a bystander in your own life.

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#2

Well said and thought out. Thank for that to think about.

#3

We don’t change until the pain is greater than the fear of change.

People make a change if there are three things; discontent with the current state, hope for a better state, and vision for a way to get there.

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#4

Well put! Trying to apply that to my marriage. Should I stay or should I go? Not quite desperate enough yet to call it quits, but not happy either watching him smoking and drinking himself to an early death like my dad (at the age of 57). We did build a good life together though…hope I’ll have clarity one day soon to move forward one way or another without regrets.

#5

In the meantime time focus on yourself and work on your mind, body and spirit. Strong mind, Strong body and Strong spirit you will become unstoppable. Having loved ones who struggle with addiction is not easy to watch. The truth is that one day he will stop because the addiction will take its toll physical, mental, emotional or financial. We have interventions that come into our lives everyday. Some may be subtle and some maybe smacked right in our face. I call these "Moments of Clarity" this is when we see the truth about our situations. I think it's important to seek out mentors for different areas of our live physical, menu, emotional, spiritual,, motivational etc. sometimes you may have a live person or mentors come in different ways books , meditation, video's motivational you tube my favorites. Anyhow I wish you peace and strength.

#6

Wow awesome.again!!!.:dromedary_camel:

#7

In the meantime stay focus on yourself and work on your mind, body and spirit. Strong mind , Strong body and Strong spirit you will become unstoppable!having loved ones who struggle with addiction is not easy to watch the truth is on day they will stop because the addiction will take its toll physically ? Mentally, emotionally, financially and legally etc.we have Interventions that come into our lives every day. Some may be subtle and some smack us right in our face. The reason is something or someone is trying to get or attention!I call these "Moments of Clarity "this is when we finally see the truth about our situation and make a choice. I think it's important to seek out mentors for different parts of our lives physical, mental , emotional, spiritual, financial etc. sometimes you have someone physically to confide in or you can read a book , meditation, watch a video I like motivational videos. Ted talks are good.all these things can be used to mentor us . I wish you peace and strength during this time in your life.

#8

My dad died at 57 smoking and drinking, here’s to hope that my husband wakes up before that happens to him :crossed_fingers:. Thank you for putting things in perspective, I agree I have to stop banging my head against the wall because of my husband and focus on me instead.

#9

Taking care of ourselves is not selfish and doesn't mean that we don't care or love others. The truth is the opposite when we take care of ourselves we can be around for others. Have a Great day :blush:

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