Telling People
How do you decide when you tell people and who you tell? All of my friends are upset that I’ve been blowing them off. And all of my coworkers have been pushing me to go out with them once we are off. I just feel disconnected from everyone, but don’t know if I want to tell them.
I’ve also been keeping it on the “down low.” I still go out. If I quietly get a club soda w lime and a splash of cranberry, it’s rare for anyone to comment or ask. And if they do ask what I’m drinking, I can typically dodge a conversation by saying “Just a little sump’n sump’n. How about those Cowboys?”
Or something similar- you get the gist.
One other thing. I’m also discovering there are WAY more non-drinkers frequenting bars than you’d think. It’s completely different from 10 yrs ago.
Thanks I appreciate that. I’m just worried I might not be ready to go out where there’s alcohol. I don’t know if I have the self control or not because I haven’t tried it.
Who and when are entirely up to you. The advise I got when I was just starting to get sober was “don’t be anywhere you don’t need to be, and if you need to be somewhere have an escape route.” You are still really early in sobriety, bars and parties are definitely not the place you should be going. What about suggesting going out somewhere alcohol isn’t to hang out. Good luck. The fun will come back, I promise. You need to be patient and work the program.
Congrats on making the choice to stay sober. It’s a choice you will hopefully make each morning when you wake up. Most of us have had to deal with this exact scenario. At my age it’s not such a big deal, but I was 24 when I first got sober and I remember when life centered around “going out”. Back in 1989 we didn’t have many options, so I took their recommendations and went to AA. At the time I told everyone that I had been having medical issues and that I had an allergy to alcohol. That helps with the why we’re not drinking, but it doesn’t explain why we’re avoiding going out. I simply said that my doctor wanted me yo take it easy for 90 to see if my blood work improves. Eventually they all found out the truth, which is I do have an allergy to alcohol and I did need to take it easy. I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, but I did find some sober friends in AA. Having sober friends is such a blessing. I hope you find some 
Tell people when you feel you are ready. No shame in being sober, but there is also no shame in keeping it close to the vest. While most will be supportive or at the least understanding, some will seek to destroy this new you. Move forward cautiously.
Drinkers want everyone around them drinking. I was that way too. Oftentimes I was the bad influence friend and always wanted just one more. It’s weird to b on the other side of that coin now. My friends think I’m depressed or sad or something is wrong bc I’m not as lively or funny or outrageous as I was while drinking. Truth is I’m very happy, I’m just more settled. I don’t have the highs or the lows like I used to, which is great! People just don’t understand. I get that. How can they?
All good advice on this thread. Take ur time. You don’t have to tell others u quit drinking forever, tell them ur taking a break to focus on stuff, ur health or work or a project or ur family, whatever is important in ur life. Invite ur drinking friends to go for a walk w u or meet for coffee or a workout instead. One day u can proudly tell them, if u choose, that u love sobriety and it suits u and they will know it’s true. They’ll b able to see it in ur glowing skin and positive attitude. Give it time, you’ll find new relationships and cherish old ones even more. Sobriety is a super power! Good luck 
If you don’t want to get hit by the train stay off the tracks! You’re awesome keep sharing
I just tell people I quit. If they ask why, I say because it was time. But I don’t go places where everyone is drinking either
I stayed a way from drinkers for a years.be carful when you tell them even at work.people all think drinkers are all ok with it .they are not all ways .be careful.
I can tell you from experience that being around it early into sobriety is hard af. You don’t need to go to bars or be around drinking to have a good time with people who care about you. If that’s their only idea of having a good time then it may be time to find a new core group.
Tell others when you are ready. Start with telling those you trust and that can be an aide to your recovery. I’m an open book I told a group of friends that I trust. Hang out with the people who won’t push you to drink even if they are.
Sobriety is top priority. I tell people I’m an alcoholic