I am that type of addict. The frustrating type that is stubborn. The type that refuses to do things like lie, cheat, and steal to support his habit, no matter how bad detox could get.
That guy that refuses to give you money that he doesn’t have because no matter how much he might need a hit he’s not gonna go into debt and give you control over his life.
As if any of us addicts have real control when we’re using.
Yeah, I’m that type of addict. Roll around and sweat for days wishing I was dead because it’s better than crawling on my knees to a dealer type of addict. I can tell you something about this type of addict: it’s a lot more painful than just giving in and becoming a little sniveling b*tch to your substance. It’s a real fight that is almost as hard as the fight to sober up. Almost but not as hard.
It’s not noble. It’s not just. it’s really annoying to other addict, especially if they want to make money off of you. so my addiction has not always been supported because people get pissed off that I’m not a good little Customer and that I’m an independent thinker with a stubborn streak.
Now that I have 2 1/2 decades off of narcotics and almost a decade off of the bottle, I can tell you something about that type of addict:
Attitude is still here because it was there before my addiction ever came into my life.
So if I tick you off, realize it’s me just living my life being authentic and stubborn and that it’s not personal and it was never about you.
I’m just that type of addict.