I binge drank last night for the second time in the last few weeks. I thought I could moderate better now, but I guess not. I feel so ashamed and thinking about going sober, again. I am scared. I really don’t want to get stuck in this cycle again. I want help, but I’m not sure how to get it.
Google AA intergroup in your area and find an AA meeting near you. Go and introduce yourself as a newcomer and want help. Tell the group that you need a sponsor. Keep coming back and you’ll be ok 
I remember when I did the same thing you did. Thought I could moderate the drinking but in my gut I knew I couldn't. I would say to myself , "only one! I cant have anymore " Well we both know where that went.
If you know u have a problem; the first step is getting help. Outpatient or group recovery meetings. Even counseling. If you feel you can't do this on your own then find someone who can help you getting better.
I'm here if u need to talk.
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That just sounds so intimidating. I’m not sure I’m brave enough 
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Take a trusted friend or family member. Once you break the ice you’ll be fine. Those are your people. All of them were in the same place you are right now and they want to help you. Or go to a bunch of different meetings until you find one you feel comfortable enough to share in. You’ll find your home group/people if you seek them. They’re saving you a seat. Let me know how it goes
Don’t give up Allie! You’re stronger and more resilient than you think you are!
Reaching out like you demonstrates awareness and courage! You CAN do it!
Please don’t give up!
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I want to get help, but I think the shame I feel is just so heavy that I’m not sure I can just walk into an AA group and have 20 pairs of eyes look over to me. Like that sounds so terrifying. I would absolutely shut down.
Nobody walks into their first meeting on a hot streak. We go as a last resort. When the misery outweighs the fear.
My anxiety was quickly replaced by relief. The people in the rooms knew me better than I knew myself. I heard my story coming from their mouths. All the intense feelings of failure that I was sure no one else on earth could have imagined were what we all had in common.
It is a program of willingness. Of humility. You don’t have to let pride win.
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I was in the same place a few months ago...I was sober for a yr an started drinking again thinking I could "control" it...one thing as we all find out is there's no "controling" it....I have been trying online meetings which are far less intimidating for me.
One day I'll go to a meeting in person but till then I'll use the online meetings.
Never feel alone on this I found many people going thro the same thing an it made it easier for me to talk to like minded people who understand.
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It’s normal to feel that way and I promise no one there is judging you. Plus most people are too focused on their stuff. A little trick is to get there a half hour early and grab a seat before most people get there. That way the whole rooms not watching you walk in.
I feel your pain, I wish I didn't have this problem either. I have come to a time where drinking is only making me suffer, so no fun in drinking for me.