Tonight is the first time I made it thru and episode (wanting to drink, do a drug, break something or self harm myself). Sat in the bathroom crying for a bit wanting to just rip the sink off the wall and some how I cried thru the thoughts and didn’t do anything.. I cried after and now I just feel empty. It is my first time fighting that urge, that itch in my head that I won’t be satisfied till I do it… and now just nothing. Is this normal? I’m losing my mind over here
2 Likes
You made it through. I'd rather feel empty than feel regret. At least w empty you can hold your head up high. Yes it's normal. Urges are the fuckin worst. They go away. You have to do whatever you have to do to distract yourself to crush that thought to get your mind on something else just to stay busy because just because their thoughts doesn't mean they're true feelings are not facts just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean it's a fact you got through it you did what you had to do you had an episode you did well be proud of yourself
2 Likes
It’s so hard to be proud of myself! Thank you!
1 Like
Well being proud of ourselves as far from natural as it may seem is actually a huge part of the psychology behind both addiction a d sobriety. Simply put, I'd try and get used to it if I were you.
Glad that you made it through without any of the foolishness. H is tough. Tough but so very possible. Last time I picked up was almost a year ago and I had more than a year prior to that. I look back and wonder wth I was thinking. I've had a few really tough times between now and then but never even a close call thank God. Fixing the way we think is a big part of the battle. Our bodies follow our mind moreso than the reverse.Like they say in boxing, control the head and the body will follow.
3 Likes
So so glad you made it through 
yes, normal to feel empty and/or lost, we aren't always used to making it to the other side! Try to self care as much as possible, next time it might be easier or it might be harder, so stay strong and know you're doing great.
3 Likes
I feel the same way. Someone taught me that if I have low self esteem then do esteemable things. Hold the door do a kind deed without having to be asked and that will help build confidence and self worth
1 Like
So you didn't use? That's a win! Next step is to remove the desire or thought that you would benefit at all from your drug of choice. The. You're sober and free.
2 Likes
Nooooo. I definitely didnt, haven't used. Not in about a year. The thought is rarely ever there anymore. Occasionally, the pain gets that bad, but I do know that isn't the answer. I also know that there are other ways, safer ways to alleviate the pain which is what I tend to focus on daily if I'm being smart and proactive which I can't bear to let up for more than a few days ever.
1 Like