The Love That Taught Me

Mental Health
#1

It hurts because it mattered. It hurts because I saw potential. It hurts because I know what we could have been.. if we were both ready.

I wasn’t asking for perfection. I was asking for accountability. For depth. For the kind of love that can survive discomfort. I would have fought for us. But I cannot fight alone.

But I also know this: if you had stayed and continued avoiding the hard parts, I would have felt unsafe. Smaller. Anxious. Responsible for holding everything together. And I deserve a love that meets me in truth, not one that escapes when truth gets heavy.

So, I release you.. without anger, without regret and without ever turning back. Not because I didn’t love you. But because I love myself enough to choose clarity over confusion.

I can miss you and still know we were not aligned.

I can grieve you and still protect my future.

I can love deeply and still let go.

This is the end of the story I hoped for.

And the beginning of the love I actually deserve.

Goodbye to what we were.

Goodbye to what we almost became.

My final goodbye… I send you forward with peace, and I walk forward with strength.

Sincerely,

The woman you once promised to protect forever - who now protects herself.

:butterfly:

8 Likes
#2

Oh my Lord, you described the exact same feelings that I was going to post. They're paying of what could have been I broke up 2 years ago with my fiance and today the only man on earth I never thought I would say goodbye to. Being an addict the most difficult part I seem to deal with are emotions. You said all that I wanted to say sweetheart I choose myself I will not be shorted anymore or used as you described. I wept reading this I feel we are a kindred spirit although strangers! I cannot stress enough gratitude and yes I will not let anything or anyone jeopardize my sobriety. Thank you again you have given me strength with your words and your honesty God bless you and keep you. I told God that if you don't want me to be with anyone worthy of me, that's fine with me I'll be 65 February 8th say happy birthday please

1 Like
#3

Lauren, I appreciate you. I also struggle with my emotions at times. It can get pretty dark and lonely. Especially when grieving a hope that was still very much alive.

You are absolutely worth staying for. You are not alone in your feelings and I am available to chat whenever you feel inclined. My schedule can be a bit busy, but I will always reply when I am able.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday, filled with love and laughter. :purple_heart:

1 Like
#4

Thank you sweetie right back at you! Yes emotions are painful and raw. Grew up in an alcoholic but Rich family and was never taught life skills. I didn't sign up for this but I must go through it. Please read my posts they are very good as well? God bless you and thanks again for the birthday wishes too! Your friend Lauren Marston

1 Like
#5

I agree emotions can be difficult to navigate. But, when you truly do allow yourself to feel.. it is absolutely healing and it allows you to learn yourself and your patterns so that you can soothe in a healthy way. I’m sorry to hear about your upbringing. It’s not our past that defines us. It’s what we do with it that counts. So many of us become so lost along the way and can’t break free. I’m glad you are here. I am glad you are willing. One day at a time love. :purple_heart: