Treating addiction as a “monster” has helped put the things I do into perspective.
A narcissist monster that wants to rot you from the inside out. It wants you to spend all your money and give up everything for it with the promise of always being there and making you feel “better.” The monster convinces you that you’re worthless and that no one loves you(until you have a drink… only then are you “better”). It isolates you and convinces you to isolate yourself. You continue feeding it and it grows. It takes everything in your life then tries to take your life itself. It poisons and exhausts you. It leaves you with mystery bruises and convinces you to remove your boundaries and take more and more and more risks. It lets you think you’re in control. First you take the drink and then the drink takes you. The moment you tell yourself you’re in control is the moment it’s consumed you and your life begins to revolve on how much, what type and when the next drink will be.
Now I spend my time avoid people places and situations that may cause me to drink or even have the desire to drink. I practice boundaries and set limits. I indulge in self care that doesn’t include self-harming behaviors. I keep my mind and body busy.