“The problem is never the problem.”
Most often, when we identify a problem, the problem we are describing really revolves around the way we are coping with an issue rather than the actual issue at hand. How we cope with the issue determines if it continues to be a problem or not...
Emotional sobriety is about increasing our awareness of our old ideas and beliefs, taking responsibility for our feelings, unhooking our expectations, seeking truth and coping with life on life’s terms. When we encounter a challenging situation that either we have created, or that life is placed in our path, - we have accept it ‘as it is’ without catastrophizing it - only then we will get on with the business of coping. But if we get lost in objecting to what is – refusing reality and telling ourselves “this shouldn’t be happening”, “I should have known better” or catastrophizing what may or may NOT happen, then we lose any chance of discovering how to effectively cope with the situation at hand. We are too busy objecting to reality or beating ourselves up to find a solution. Instead , we take responsibility for finding the best and most appropriate solution to whatever we face which then leads to empowerment and self-confidence. ~ emotional sobriety, Dr. Alan Berger.