I've spent some time trying to discern why I would drink soooooo much, then spend days recovering, then once In felt better forget and don't all again. Digging deeper into the why has been helpful, bit there are a whole lot of thoughts and feelings there to sort out. I still look there, but my new focus is on the reason(s) why I don't want to do that anymore. More precisely, the reasons that I want to do everything else. This combined with making baby steps in the directions I want to go has been a great tool for building joy into my life.
Try smart recovery
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I like it, thanks!
It helps us change your thoughts and our behaviors and we get into our Hobbies helps our urges we also use our ABC’s CBA’s like if you were saying yourself oh, I’m a bad person you can change that thought and say no you’re a good person and SMART helps you with that
SMART doesn’t keep us silent and helps us except that we like to drink and that we have our addiction and we find it it’s OK , SMART recovery does that for us 
I don’t care if you’re Mr. Smith and you drink, and we shouldn’t be silent