The sponsor that saved my life once said, “You know what, I understand that you’re sick and that you can die from not drinking but now you’re out of the hospital and weened off the anti-seizure meds. If you die now it is again entirely your fault. No one is and has ever put a bottle of alcohol to your lips and made you drink it, you , me or any other alcoholic. You have to be accountable from now on, like you told me you were before the severe drinking” Since then I never drank again. He’s right, no one had ever put a gun to my head or put alcohol to my lips and made me drink it. I had to focus on what i lost and what i wanted my future to be. It was all up to me. I had to force myself to 4 or 5 meetings a day to stop me from drinking. I had to do whatever it took not to die and get my life back. You have the power. No one is putting that drink to your lips. It was a hard thing to accept but it was true. It is baffling and cunning and it is you convincing yourself. You can also convince yourself not to. It’s not easy, but nothing worth having is. It can be hard not to drink or it can be hard losing your life. You choose which hard you want.
It's the truth. I still get the urge to celebrate another weekend on Friday night. But, I have to always remind myself that if I take the lid off Pandora's box I will be going down the rabbit hole again. I've tried and failed at moderation every time and I will only keep all my personal growth and progress by not falling back into old habits. I am the only one that can do it for myself. Self control is my hardest fight but the one worth fighting one day at a time
Way before that I ever went through that phase in my life and lost my wonderful career, 98% of my friends, several family members and even life itself. My favorite quote had been “The Greatest War is not Man vs Man but Man vs Himself” It is so true and I honestly believe it happened to me to wake me up and realize and appreciate what I have been given and utilize my abilities and talents to be the best Man I can be and help others to do the same. I was taking everything for granted and although very successful I lost my purpose and now I have gained it back along with my appreciation for life and all that I have been given so it has indeed given my purpose back and I cannot disrespect my own self and lose my life over drinking. When i see it from that perspective it is just crazy how I even got to that point but I guess that is what it took to realize what I was doing and what I wasn’t. Keep pushing my man, I agree and understand completely. Reach out whenever. I get temptations every little bit and. Now have trained my mind to realize how big life is and how it’s not worth destroying and putting my family through that. Why? Not worth it whatsoever , not even a little bit