After averaging 1.75 litres of Vodka every 1 1/2 days for so long, I remember crawling into a treatment center in Lubbock Texas December 10th of 2002. That was the beginning of my journey into sobriety. I remember many challenges with learning how to stay sober one day at a time without picking up a drink. For the longest time, I wanted to drink so bad. I hated the way life felt without being able to pick up a drink. I didn't have any way to kill the pain.
I kept showing up at meetings day after day after day. Some days I went to 2 or 3 different meetings.
There is an AA club that I hung out at in Amarillo Texas called the Hobbs Plaza Group. That's where I lived back then. I did everything they suggested. I did a lot of volunteering. As a matter of fact I became the one that cleaned the place up day after day. I had a sponsor who took me through the steps and little-by-little the pain went away, the obsession was removed and I could live life without picking up a drink. I did relapse in 2011 and it cost me about 3 years of obvivian. This is why I'm always telling people about what I call "believing the big lie." It's the lie that alcohol feeds us telling us that this time everything will be OK. But it never is.
Today has been one crazy day for sure. Actually, the whole week has been crazy. I placed a few expectations on how I thought things should go but once again I was wrong. I'm getting my truck worked on at a Speedo in Franklin Kentucky. I'm a truck driver/car hauler. I won't get into the details but I've been here for over 6 hours. I came here to simply get an oil change and lube but they found some cracks in my drive wheel brake shoes and steering brake shoes. (Not good)It was due to go into the shop anyway. The good news is I'm going to have new brakes all the way around but it's cost me a lot of time sitting here. I can't leave for the hotel until the work is complete.
But you know what the best part is? Not once have I thought about picking up a drink.
That's just not something that happens anymore because the whole idea of picking up a drink has been smashed. It's just not an option in my life anymore. One of the great truths in life is that life is tough. Many people go to the grave never really getting this fact. They become victims and they think that life has not treated them very well. Then there are those of us who once we accept the fact that life is tough, the fact that life is tough no longer matters and we learn how to excel in life.
This is what you get when you work the program of alcoholics anonymous. Like it says in the promises, we are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
