There is nothing I can do to get what my life wants was but nor should I want to because all of the lessons I've learned or circumstances I've been through that have made me who I am currently wouldn't have happened however I'm certain they were bound to happen and things could have turned out a lot worse for me as well as others. I'm no longer working toward being emotionally distant and disconnected from myself I'm going to start doing the work to get over being frightened about certain aspects of my character. have allowed certain parts of my childhood to Leach over into every point in my life I've gotten accustomed to using it so much it has become first nature. what at first was trial and error to validate my worth and my family's dynamic where I would still be relevant and or of any real consequence. It has suited me well when it was necessary but outside of the dysfunctional and toxic environment I have grown up in, it separates me and prevents me from developing whole fulfilling relationships. There resides an irrational fear of being in the same environment that I am constantly taking the same stance on reacting and interacting with my environment which vicariously recreates the same traumatic experience that had formed my limitations to making relationships or meaningful connections to anything I have in my life. Without changing my behavior there will be no change in how I feel about myself worth self-esteem or self-confidence in where I fit in with the world around me.
2 Likes
You’ve got this
1 Like
1 Like