These stressful events are too much! Well first off, my full-time job right now is food delivery for a couple of food delivery apps. That means I need my car. Since I don't have the best credit I had to go through one of those used car dealerships that makes you pay a high price and the first six payments cannot be late or you have to park the car until you can make your payment. The last car I had with them I paid on time all the time but the engine went out so they sold me a second vehicle. I was not able to make my payment yesterday because of an emergency that took up a couple hundred dollars. I tried to explain that if they gave me the weekend I could make the money and have it paid online before they even get in Monday but they did not want to go for that and threaten to tow it if I did not come park it pay it by the end of business today. I am already stressed because my sister found out she had colon cancer a couple of days ago. My retired mother's income changed drastically last month causing her difficulties. My father is always fickle (retired with good income, never a financial difficulty in his life), at times is more than happy to help financially in a situation like this, but when I called today his attitude was that it's my responsibility, he is not "giving" anymore money, when I was asking for a loan that I could pay back in 2-3 days. Last time he ever GAVE me money, he offered, I never asked. (He's so confusing, But the only person I know that has $200 to loan out) Mind you, both of my parents can have major mood swings & depression but my father is the worst - & I'm a combination of both of them 
. (Raised in an emotionally unstable household did cause any of my emotional instability ) So that is part of my stress. I did go turn in my car after a couple of relatives told me that was the best thing to do but of course puts me in a bind and having to use someone else's car when I do not want to put them out like that. So my issue today is I am just having extreme thoughts like how I should just tell that dealership to shove the car you know where, and take off to a city that has public transportation. AKA run away. 
My "addict thinking"And is really surfacing. of course it makes me want to use very badly. I am just sitting here trying to keep myself calm. ... and I don't know why it all bothers me so much 
Sounds stressful. It also sounds like you have some people at your back willing to help. Good stuff. Sometimes when I’m all wrapped up in my own stuff / the stories of me that fly through my head like jet fuel in a jet engine, I try to find some other story/ stories to get into that have nothing to do with my personal drama. Maybe even think about how you can add value to someone else’s life, take in there garbage can, bring them a treat, whatever.
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Thanks, that's true. No better way to get out of your own head/issues, than to help someone else