I’ve actually never been up to Cape Cod.
It starts with the smallest of things man, when I realized I had to start fixing things in me I did a lot of journaling asking my self why I respond certain ways or act certain ways, read literature on emotional sobriety and then said to myself, "if I can't do the smallest of things right how am I going to do the biggest of things." I was in prison for 3 years at that time working on a road crew. As other inmates walked past the smallest pieces of trash but I picked them up they would say I was doing too much and I'd repeat that to them, that if I can't do the smallest of things....they'd laugh. Well I've been home for 5 years and beat the odds of going back which is usually within the first 3 years it's like 85% chance. I'm sober and keep reflecting on every day to try to change. Us as addicts and alcoholics are behind the curve on maturity and emotional stability. We will technically always be behind the curve since we were stunted from the first time we started this things. A lot of your posts are pretty negative so I would try to start just looking at the positive and even trying to be positive when it's hard too. Start there. You are sober and that is THE most important part, now the hard work begins, we can't just get sober and think we will be fixed. It's a life long process and to find real joy in my experience, is to help others. Even out of recovery. I wish you the best man. Another book I read says it's not good for man to be alone, but sometimes it's what's needed for a while. Start seeing yourself as the person you want others to see you as!
The subtle art of not giving a f was a game changer for me
Good one. I usually like to think I don’t, but we all do to an extent. Especially when we’re lonely.
It’s really an amazing perspective let me know if you read it!