My addiction is trying to undermine me & it’s not being super subtle about it.
I’m succeeding at work, I move into my OWN APARTMENT in less than a week, and I’m five weeks sober! My mind is trying to fill me with dread. It’s trying to convince me that I can’t succeed, that I’m better off just flushing my progress down the toilet. I’ve never felt this stable in my adult life, physically & mentally. And I think my brain is desperate for chaos, so it’s trying to sabotage me. Is this relatable to anyone else? Oof. Off to work I go!
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Of course I can relate. Life is pretty darn good. It’s not perfect, and never will be. Yet, my default thinking is always only thinking and worrying about 
that is out of control. We need to stay mindful that everything is ok. Gratitude lists, journaling, meditation, and sharing with others in recovery definitely help! Pretty cool that things are coming together for you
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Stay strong! Don’t let those feelings overtake you! You can succeed… and you will!
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The self awareness you’ve got going is huge, and I am here for it 
That’s such an important part of being able to stay strong and keep working towards your goals. Major props for all you’ve accomplished and your 5 weeks of sobriety!! You absolutely can continue to succeed and I’m sending tons of good vibes your way.
You got this!! 
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Yeah, that’s normal, It’s because you’re so used to it. That also happens if you grow up in a stressful or abusive or dangerous environment. If you’re used to Chaos. You just have to continue to say prayers of Gratitude, write down all the good things to be thankful for and then write down 3 long term goals and 1 short term goal for each on how you’re going to get there, your next steps) That will keep you focused on the now and on your goals so that you realize you can’t afford to screw anything up or do anything that is going to prevent you from moving on to the next steps. That’s what I’ve had to do and it works
For me and others at least, give it a shot, I always need to be focused on the next milestone or goal to avoid being dragged back into that conditioning
Yes! We are hardwired for chaos, it seems. Just remember that no chaos is something to celebrate and chase the calm. 
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Abso fuhqin lootly! Just know it's normal and will be an on and off battle for a while. Sometimes it can sneak up years into sobriety too but as long as you're staying vigilant in your recovery you will be fine. Honest, open and not afraid to share or ask for help, no matter how small it'll seem. That was one of my biggest downfalls. Minimizing little issues and trying to brush them off without talking to someone about them. They get bigger off left unresolved. You are doing great. Absolutely crushing it!
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Thank you all so much for your kind & helpful words. I appreciate y’all so much!!
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You are growing! Growing through new life challenges is never easy. But I don't think it should be either. I wouldn't feel a sense of accomplishment and resulting spiritual enlightenment if I couldnt beat the powers working against me. But it happens! You are doing great! And thank you for sharing your positive news and accomplishments, helps give me hope that I can do it, that we all can do it.
Oh Chaos Chaos Chaos Chaos Chaos Chaos Chaos notice 7! Don't believe it's Lucky 7, more now like Magnificent 7!? Have to reset my mind to represent my Madness. Smiles, Sun, and Moon, and Outdoors may cure the Lows for me. Crying, and Sweating really loud cure the Highs. I am sure most of us have more issues than Booze and Drugs. That is why I am here, Thank You all for being here! Answers are out there, just wonder where?