I don't know my exact day either I just know when I got sober and that's perfectly fine with me, I'm proud of myself regardless
2 Likes
You should be proud. It’s like the Burger King slogan “ have it your way.” Hahah do what works for you.
1 Like
I agree with this premise. I’m coming up on 6 months in a few weeks after never attempting sobriety in my life. I was definitely aware of the early milestones - 30/60/90 - but now it’s more about transitioning into a new lifestyle that I hope to sustain.
3 Likes
Exactly. Kind of similar to dieting. Make your eating habits a life style that lasts. Diets tend to be temporary!
2 Likes
I agree with the longevity doesn’t matter. It’s that you are sober TODAY If your sober 6 months or six years if you take a drink you will probably relapse.
2 Likes
Exactly. I met a guy that was sober for 10 years. Started drinking NA beer and then it turned into just beer followed by liquor and drugs. My first thought was wow he just threw 10 years away. Then I thought about it more and how horrible it was to think about it that way. 10 days or 10 years doesn’t matter. He is a human and he made mistakes. I really admired that he was willing to start over his from day 1 and try again. That made me realize that maybe counting isn’t a good idea for me and I should just take it a day at a time. Before you realize it a lot of time has passed. I think my sobriety time has built up so fast because I don’t think about it often and I don’t count.
1 Like
You only have today. The counting should start over every morning.
1 Like
You are right. We aren’t promised tomorrow. Make the best of what we’ve got.
I agree that a chip or key tag won't keep you sober. And yes, it's one day at a time.
However, it's not about ME. It's about the newcomers, I feel it's important for them to see and celebrate the milestones and that it can be done. So picking up chips in meetings does just that.
Time also matters for sponsorship greatly. I'm more apt to listen to advice from someone with 10 years than 10 days. Step 12 is carrying the message and one that keeps me sober.
I actually really like the idea of not counting days. In early sobriety it was miserable. I thought if I don’t get to 60 or 90 I may as well just forget it. Now I just do me. I live one day at a time. Awesome post man! Someone already said it but it’s your sobriety, do what works for you!
2 Likes
It is all about what works for you. I think a lot of what you say is true. I am sober today and that is what is important. Thank you for sharing. I am sober only a short time so I may reach out to you.
1 Like
I have no idea, zero, as to when I stopped drinking. I asked my now ex because it was a problem in our marriage. But I very quickly realized that I liked the way I felt-mindful, present, and a better mom. I felt in “control” of my life, happier….I reflected how much time I “wasted” being wasted in my life and felt some grief at the loss of who I could have been but also the enthusiasm of a new book in my trilogy. I got a clean start and I’m not “wasting” any more time, money, or energy making alcohol my Higher Power.
Whatever works for you ..people talk about their way because it has worked for them just as your not counting works for you. I think you take what you need to hear on here just as with anything and leave what doesn't fit your idea of recovery or sobriety.
1 Like
For some the counter is a ticking time bomb, for others it is like the comforting sound of a grandfather clock. It reminds them they have been and can be sober.
The thing about counting for all of us to remember is we are only sober right now. Recovery is not a, "I've been sober for..." kind of thing. If we look at it like that then we are in trouble, and the count will be our down fall. If we look at the count as a reminder that we successfully made one 24 hour period, and happend to hook them together, it is a reminder that for today I can do this.
As a good friend of mine who has 3650 days sober says, "The world record for sobriety is 24hrs. No one has ever beat it and no one ever will."
1 Like
You're a good egg in my book. Don't think it needs that heavy a disclaimer, it makes sense, and if it doesn't to someone, then they just have to accept it as "to each their own"
1 Like
You sound very similar to my situation. Things got better when I stopped focusing on that number. Do whatever works for you!
Exactly. Sure, don’t hesitate!
Thanks man. Yea I’m not here to offend anyone but obviously there’s people that won’t agree. That’s okay though. They do what works for them and I’ll stick with what is working for me.
That’s great it it works for and it works for newcomers. I’m just saying that the counting did the exact opposite for me as a new comer. What works for someone else doesn’t mean it works for everyone. I think it’s best to keep an open mind and let others approach recovery in any way that helps them keep sobriety. I’m not knocking anyone that counts. I just choose not to because it produced better results for me. I’m not trying to force anyone to do it my way. It’s just nice for people to be tolerant of someone that does it a different way. So keep doing what you are doing if it works for you.
I agree 100 percent.