This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but at the end of the day it’s an opinion. So take it with a grain of salt. I know most people count days and keep track of their sobriety date.They hit a week, month, year, decade, ect. It’s something they celebrate. That’s definitely cool if it works for you. However, this always backfired for me. I’d get 6 months and then relapse. Id start becoming obsessed with counting and then feel guilty when I had to start over. I didn’t actually get past 6 months until I threw out my sobriety date and I stopped counting. I’ve also noticed new people on here feeling bad because they had to start over and then they look at bob or Jane with 10 years. This discourages some people rather than motivate them. I don’t like to think about the day I became sober because it was around the darkest period of my life. I’d rather not remind myself of that feeling every single day that I wake up. Why would I want to start each day with that date or keep track of a number that makes me look in the past. I’ve been sober over a year, but the actual number doesn’t matter to me. The important part is I’m sober NOW in this moment and I feel good. So if it works for you then great, but don’t expect everyone to keep sobriety the same way you do. Keep an open mind. There is always more than one solution to a problem. I will always praise people on here when they hit a milestone because it works for them and I truly am happy for them. In my situation I will not count days and if you ask for my sobriety date then I don’t know what to tell you. I moved on from that date and it’s brought me peace. There are people on here that obviously disagree with me if you look at my inbox. That’s okay with me, but I find it sad that they are this close minded. Just because something works for you, does not mean it works for everyone. You may suggest your methods to others on how to remain sober. Just please don’t push them on other people and label them as a bad egg if they don’t follow your program. I don’t want to count. I just want to live. This is in no way to say counting is wrong either. It’s just wrong for me. Please do whatever it is you are doing to remain sober. At the same time though, please keep an open mind for other individuals on here. Don’t shun them or argue with them because they do things a different way. Okay done ranting.
I feel this. My sober date is one of if not the worst day of my life. It's something I wish to move past and not necessarily celebrate. I get this take. Sounds like it's working for you so good luck, keep it up, and congrats.
Exactly! I think I always got in trouble because I made sobriety into this “ big deal.” When I treated it like something as small as brushing me teeth, it became easy for me.
Thanks Matt. I think you can wake up and be free from it all. It just takes a lot of practice not focusing on something we think about endlessly. The trick for me was putting that energy elsewhere. Work, exercising, socializing, ect. I think I just find things to fill the void and stay busy. However, keep doing whatever it is you are doing if it works. My way might not work for everyone, and that’s okay.
Not forgetting the past is important to not repeating it.
I agree, but if you let the past consume you then you can never truly live in the now.
I didn’t forget the past. I just choose not to obsess over it or make a daily routine of looking back at things.
There is a giant space between not forgetting and letting it consume you, ya know?
Refer to my second comment.
Didn't see that before I commented. Oops. Haha..
I still think it important to have a beginning. My sober date is painful too. But I am learning to not be ashamed of it.
The best thing I have heard about the past is to look but not stare at it. For me counting the days sober was an unhealthy obsession. I like keeping it as was said above, no more of a factor in my life than brushing my teeth. Ironically, I am now putting much more effort into brushing my teeth now!
I won’t forget my beginning, but I’m the kind of person that won’t stop at just thinking about something for a minute or two. I’ll overanalyze and then start to go into an emotional time machine that does me no good. So I guess I don’t want to let my past go, but I definitely like to keep it at somewhat of a distance if that makes sense? I’m also the kind of person that has to shut off the news once in awhile because I get to enveloped in it, and I start to empathize with depressing situations.
Nothing wrong with that. They're your teeth.
Wow you put it better than I did. I like that.
Appreciate your sobriety and opinion brother Joe. I’m a little old school…because I’m old lol. I keep track of my days, but I agree with you 100% that it’s all about today. I I don’t have an opinion on what’s right, wrong, better, etc. My opinion is we should all be as open minded and tolerant as we possibly can with each other. I’m just happy you found a way that works better for you.
Thanks Lee! I’m glad you understand. I was really worried when I posted this that someone would take it the wrong way. I’m totally cool with people counting days, working steps, ect. I will also continue to congratulate people on milestones because it works for them. You hit the nail on the head with the word “ tolerance.” That’s exactly what i mean. The world could use much more of your mindset. That’s for certain !
Love your perspective, Joe. What works for someone is all that matters is my perspective. Being able to live a sober and in the present life. I also have a hard time understanding when someone says I threw away x number of days sober because I relapsed. I don’t think of it as throwing it all away. Are you still here? Can you still make a better decision today? Then you are doing what counts. I believe our previous achievements still provide great progress and all of that progress is not lost because of a slip. Growth is growth even if that means sometimes we take a step back. I do count my current days because I am proud of what I have done recently but I will always be proud of 18 months of sobriety I had before I slipped. It helped set me up in my current journey. God is great and so are you, my man!
Well said Ray! That’s perfectly okay you count your days! Especially if you are using it to fuel yourself. I always looked at it as more pressure and I don’t do well under pressure to say the least haha. You obviously have some sober time on your belt. So keep doing whatever you are doing! 18 months of being sober was time well spent im sure. Whoever said you “threw it out,” does not have the right mind set. That’s why we have to surround ourselves with people that build us up, not break us down. I’m glad you can see my perspective, but still stuck to your roots. That says a lot about you as a person. Thanks a lot Ray!
I don’t do sober dates or chips. You do you man! It’s your recovery. Remember that, be proud of it! And most of all have fun with the F@cker!
hahaha I definitely dig your style John. Thanks a lot man.