Hello my name is Kristen. I am an alcoholic and a recovering meth addict. I have been sober for 6 years, two months, and 19 days. My recovery started with AA and NA -90 in 90 ….then included 2 weekly commitments at 12-step meetings for first 15 months. I also did CBT and ACT group workshops, hot yoga, hot baths, gardening, cardio, dog hikes, 1:1 therapy, relapse prevention group therapy, sound baths, and eating disorder group therapy. About 20 months into my recovery I did a life-changing retreat called the Hoffman process. After that I began to study my nervous system, somatic experiencing, and polyvagal theory. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, and it has shone a new light on many of my life’s challenges. I always called meth my productivity powder. Body doubling, focus groups for ADHD, executive functioning workshops, and using physical kinetic planning tools have been like a wheelchair ramp to my differently abled mind. I just completed a Hot Pilates HIIT instructor training. I am an electronic music DJ and actively play in dance clubs and festivals. I have a toolkit for navigating drug-fueled environments as a sober person. I dance, I connect, I eat, I leave early. I do breathwork ceremonies and experience vision quests more powerful than my DMT / Acid experiences. I struggle with depression and my stimming involves mindless eating. I am beginning perimenopause and diving into the world of endocrine health. I made a mess of my finances in my addiction and things are still not kosher but I feel less panicked and avoidant to my fiscal responsibilities. I am trained as a Visual and UX Designer and work freelance. I get work on referral only, I have procrastinated making an online presence for myself - for 10 years now. I am hiding. I am hiding so much that when my client work gets slow I do food delivery instead of put myself out there for new clients. I want to seek salaried employment to create more stability for my family but I hold two contradictory things in my mind: I am a badass creative contributor that any company would be lucky to have - AND - I am totally unqualified. I know. I know. Also. My father is currently slowly dying and I am in awe of the death process. My mother is a super hero, but also a human. My husband is a rock.
I don’t know what has driven me to share. Many trials, many triumphs. We are multi-dimensional.
I feel as though I have been hiding myself and I am over it. I am happy to chat about things if any of these topics are of interest.
