This is the worst I've felt and i don't know how to come to terms with the fact that i have an issue. I can point it out right now but i cant comprehend it. I feel weak and stupid. Like how could i let a drink hold this much power of me and my life. Im lost
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Keep going it gets better
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Keep pushing forward the it min by min if you have to you are worth it
Hi, Nora.
This is Blake. This may sound crazy but in saying that you comprehend that there is a problem is possibly the best place to be at right now. For me what controlled me was boredom, loneliness, anger, and anxiety. Alcohol was how I kept all of those unhappy and overwhelming feelings in check.
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What I realize now is that alcohol was amplifying the loneliness, boredom, anger, and anxiety. It had gotten to the point that I was hospitalized and had to have a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin was so low. When I was released I stopped for about 2 weeks and eventually started again. The same symptoms I felt when I called the ambulance I began to feel again. Sweating from all my pores, dry heaving, and the inability to stand. I had just had enough of it so stumbled upon this app and joined. I intend to go to my first AA meeting tomorrow. I think I finally want to change bad enough to start doing something about it.
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True I use to kill the pain but it just makes losses more intensified.
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I felt the same way, actually I still struggle with that. When I look back at all the things I've done I'm embarrassed and I cant even look at myself. Those thoughts lead down dark paths. Free yourself and think of 1 good thing you did and what positive effects that had on you. 6.5 years sober and I still remind myself to let go. Best wishes for you.
~Peace
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It gets better everyday.
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