This is the worst I've felt and i don't know how to come to terms with the fact that i have an issue. I can point it out right now but i cant comprehend it. I feel weak and stupid. Like how could i let a drink hold this much power of me and my life. Im lost
9 Likes
Keep going it gets better
2 Likes
Keep pushing forward the it min by min if you have to you are worth it
1 Like
Hi, Nora.
This is Blake. This may sound crazy but in saying that you comprehend that there is a problem is possibly the best place to be at right now. For me what controlled me was boredom, loneliness, anger, and anxiety. Alcohol was how I kept all of those unhappy and overwhelming feelings in check.
3 Likes
What I realize now is that alcohol was amplifying the loneliness, boredom, anger, and anxiety. It had gotten to the point that I was hospitalized and had to have a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin was so low. When I was released I stopped for about 2 weeks and eventually started again. The same symptoms I felt when I called the ambulance I began to feel again. Sweating from all my pores, dry heaving, and the inability to stand. I had just had enough of it so stumbled upon this app and joined. I intend to go to my first AA meeting tomorrow. I think I finally want to change bad enough to start doing something about it.
2 Likes
True I use to kill the pain but it just makes losses more intensified.
1 Like
I felt the same way, actually I still struggle with that. When I look back at all the things I've done I'm embarrassed and I cant even look at myself. Those thoughts lead down dark paths. Free yourself and think of 1 good thing you did and what positive effects that had on you. 6.5 years sober and I still remind myself to let go. Best wishes for you.
~Peace
1 Like
It gets better everyday.
1 Like
Nora, I totally understand your dilemma. Been there! My ego kept me in that loop of baffling confusion and denial for decades. But then I learned that my absolute SURRENDER is actually my absolute VICTORY! I’m an addict alcoholic and I’m proud of it. Sound crazy? Now it’s not a battle, it’s simple. I’m an addict and know that I cannot have just 1 drink, so I don’t. If I do, I give away my power and become powerless. Sober I’m in power.
I suggest getting deep into the AA program. I wish I would’ve done it sooner, but I’m just glad I finally did. 16+ years of happy sobriety.
I’m here if you want to talk.
1 Like
Thank you, I have my first smart meeting today!
1 Like
Nora, stay open minded & hearted. I’m here if you ever want to talk
We've all been there. Fight for life!!! Never quit fighting