*This post is mostly rhetorical. I really just need to

Recovery
#1

This post is mostly rhetorical. I really just need to get some things off my chest.
I’m exhausted. I’m so fed up with my s*** mess of a life. I’ve tried so hard to believe that everything happens for a reason, & that better times are ahead. But I don’t believe that anymore. I’ve spent SO MUCH ENERGY trying SO HARD to put good out into the world. To be kind, to have empathy. To rise above. And it’s literally gotten me nowhere. Just an empty shell of an effing life. No one to come home to, no one to take care of me. Just constantly being taken advantage of & used. “Oh you’re so strong.” I am tired of having to be strong. I’ve had to be strong since I was a child, and it’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to be strong. I’m just done.

4 Likes
#2

Ahhh, you never mention anything about having something greater than you to have your back. Being alone and believing in nothing is a dead end. Helps having something or someone greater than you having your back 24/7. Not talking religion either.

2 Likes
#3

I’ve been here. And after reflecting on how I got here, it was the combination of 2 things. Dependency on outside factors for my happiness, and living without self love and purpose. The emptiness I felt was because I was pouring into everyone but myself. Because deep down I felt like I didn’t deserve it. So I was giving ALL OF MYSELF and waiting for reciprocation that never came. I suggest looking inside, and finding your purpose. Loving yourself, acknowledging your greatness, and choosing to give yourself a better life is where it all started for me. You seem like a great person. I truly wish you the best.

5 Likes
#4

Funny, I just got done complaining about the same stuff. See we're all in the same boat. We have good days and we have shity days. But Rachel you are a strong person. I've seen it right here with some of your other posts. Be gentle with yourself, do something nice for you. As always StayWell I will keep you in my prayers as I do for others.

2 Likes
#5

You probably don’t want to hear it but give the work of Mark Manson a read. I just finished one book and I think you might like it. Hope you find a smile soon. Reach out for help

#6

I’ve been feeling down in the dumps the past few days too :weary: Maybe there is something going on in the universe.. I hope you feel better soon :pray:t3::heart:

#7

I find it when I help another alcoholic all of my self pity disappear.
Give all of your problems to God. God wants us to give him our problems.
Example; I asked God to fix my gut problems, to relieve me of the miserable feeling I have after eating. The last week or so have been amazing. I’m not bloated, I’m sleeping better and I feel joyous.
When a problem arises I’m giving it to God.
I hope you feel better today. I’ll pray for you healing. Have a blessed day filled with love and peace within.