This week has been hard, but next week will be harder. Any tips?

Recovery
#1

I have court next week. It's not for something caused by my drinking, but it is due to a mistake I made that impacts my son's life. I made the best decision with the information I had at the time.

I just feel horrible and alone and what's the point?

I left therapy yesterday thinking I deserve this because of what I did. My ex sent a message confirming he feels the same way.

I often think if I hadn't been sober over the last 10 years, I wouldn't have survived.

But why survive if things just suck? Wouldn't it be easier if I was just oblivious?

(This is definitely the dark side talking, but it's just getting so loud)

#2

Life is suffering. Rich or poor, young or old, we will all get old and die. The point is to create a life where there's less suffering. That's why escaping through drugs or alcohol doesn't work. It just kicks the can down the road. Better to deal w challenges head on as they come up. You got this.

#3

JD is right, life is full of suffering. Don't put much stock in what the ex has to say, after all they are the ex. Only thing you deserve is to learn from your mistakes, ensuring a brighter future.

I hear you though. I am in pain every moment of every day. Fentanyl made that all go away. I looked forward to not waking up. No more pain. But am I an extension of my pain or do I have purpose?

The pain sucks, always. It all but rules my every waking moment. But 17yrs ago when I decided to have kids, it wasn't a decision I made only if life was good, or pain free. It was a commitment made through hades or high water... so we push on. Your son would certainly appreciate it if you would continue to fight the good fight. This I am pretty sure of