This week has been so hard physically, mentally and emotionally. I spent Christmas alone cause I'm sick, not sure if it's COVID, but it feels like death. My mom and I got into a huge fight a few days ago and told me she doesn't care about me. I've been battling suicidal thoughts, but I know that's not the answer. I'm craving all kinds of stuff to numb myself. I've just been glued to my devices and alone having constant breakdowns. I'm in so much pain emotionally and I'm using my healthy coping skills and trying to heal it all but I'm overwhelmed, stuck, and depressed. This suffering feels endless. When will things get better?? Somehow I've managed to stay sober, and I'm grateful for that but idk how much more I can take.
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Lia, hang in there and tried to hit some online meetings. If you can’t find getting in the stage search for zoom meeting with another countries. It’s always the middle of the day somewhere. You’re never alone, the recovery community is out there 24/7. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best. :-)
I hear pure pain and loneliness and a struggle to break free that even puppy kisses, fat mom hugs, sunshine and ice cream can’t cure? You are loved. You’re so brave. Thanks for reaching out.