This week just marked six months sober from booze. I am still working to fully process my emotions and have been leaning on weed which makes me feel really guilty bc I am cheating on sobriety. Weed does not have the same really negative connotations in my head so quitting it has been much more difficult than I thought it would be. Anyone struggling with a part of sobriety or experiencing the same thing?
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You’re never really going to benefit long term with a marijuana maintenance plan. Selling yourself short. It’s like showing up to a party but never really getting out of your car to attend.
Yes. I am struggling with the same thing. I never had serious negative repercussions due to my marijuana use so it’s been hard to quit. Much harder than alcohol. I can’t be in denial about the fact that my marijuana use has not been a good thing. It makes me have zero motivation to do anything. I know that in order to really work my program in recovery I’ll have to quit that as well. I will never truly find myself or work a real program smoking weed. It’s just another way for me to check out and avoid working on my issues.
I completely agree, I am trying to find the same motivation that I have found for booze. The internal conflict around it makes it so difficult. With booze every fiber of my being says no, with weed part of me says no but the other part says this is helping, it’s not that bad. Without the true genuine desire to quit, I can’t seem to pull it off. As soon as I smoke though I get major guilt, the internal battle alone is exhausting
Yes - my therapist asked me last night. Do you see yourself with a wife and kids sneaking to the basement to get high? My answer is a resounding no. But it’s like I will achieve that idealized version of myself down the line. I have quit drinking and come back really strong from a pretty intense bipolar manic episode so some days my mind lies and says you deserve alittle weed, look at all you have done. Sure it can be pleasant to pass the time and avoid loneliness but the person I want to be does not get stoned all the time. I am trying to figure out the line of self love and patience vs kicking myself in the rear and deciding quitting this is necessary too