My beautiful dog passed away yesterday. He was only 5 years old. I have been in transitional living and my ex boyfriend has both of our dogs with him. So for the last 2 years almost I've spent very little time with them, but one of the biggest reasons I got sober was so I could be there for my dogs. So I didn't have to see their sad eyes watch me struggling to shoot up. So I could give them the attention that they needed. . And I've finally just got an apartment that I move into next month that I can have dogs at. My ex said he called different vets but all the vets around here are full and will only see an animal that has established care with them already and our vet doesn't have emergency services. So he just had to watch him die. I feel like I failed as a pet parent and I feel broken. 
Kristin! I'm sorry for your loss! Been where you were...my lil Benny watching me struggle shooting up ect. He's gone now too but, we get to honor their loyalty to us by staying clean and living the best life we can now. They are with us always. Praying that you find some peace. 
Thank you
You're welcome
That is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. But nothing can bring him back and numbing out only prolongs the grief and mourning.
Honor him every day with your life of sobriety.
I’m sorry for your loss Kristin. Many of us have a special attachment to our furry friends. They are capable of giving us the unconditional love we need. I’ve seen you post some really nice gratitude lists on here, and seen your sobriety grow. The love of your dogs was the reason you finally got the help you needed. You didn’t fail. He wanted you to get help… and you did. Perhaps that was his purpose. Now you can honor his memory and stay sober for you.
So sorry for your loss.
This is hard. Especially since there is powerlessness with this situation. All I can say is that I believe our animals have spirits like we do, and they never leave us. He wants you to have a good life, and possibly care for another animal in need in his memory. I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
Beautiful and perfect reply!
I had an animal die while at the vet. Sometimes there’s just nothing that you can do. Natural laws and spiritual laws of the universe. Surrender and acceptance
Thank you. And yes I agree, I will not numb out. I will get through this stone cold sober.
Thank you I really appreciate your words. I will honor his memory by staying sober and being a better dog mom for my other dog. I just wish he got to be a part of it too. He deserved so much. He loved so much.
Thank you. It means a lot
Thank you. I am not ready for another animal. However this happening makes me think about becoming a veterinarian so that other people don't have to lose their babies due to a lack of availability. I have been struggling with figuring out what career I want, so maybe that's it.
I do believe he is still with me in spirit though. Thank you for your comfort.
That must have been sad. I'm sorry for your loss too. And maybe a veterinarian wouldn't have been able to help, I don't know. But I feel like so much more should have been done on my part. But I'm just trying to accept it for what it is and try to move forward knowing I have his big ol head resting on my shoulder.