To any agnostics (like myself) out there: how were you able to find a higher power?
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My higher power just “is”. I struggled with step 2/3 for a long time. But one day I was just sitting watching tv and it hit me. It just is. As long as you know there is something bigger than your addiction, that’s all you need.
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Great question! I’ve been in recovery since 1989 and have struggled with this until recently. I’m not sure how it happened, but I think I finally gave up trying to figure it out. I complicate everything. I over think everything. My truth is that I was never going to figure this out. Instead of fighting it, I surrendered to the idea that I don’t need to know. I just believe that I (my ego) am not in control of anything except for how I choose to deal with life. I’m truly powerless over so many things that go on in this insane world. I also found strength in connecting with others in recovery. I was able to tap into some strength in the group. Together we seemed to be able to help each other. This in itself was a power greater than myself. From there it grew little by little. Ultimately I found that their is a “power” inside of myself that I was born with. I know right from wrong. I don’t always do the right thing because I (my ego) want what I want when I want it…regardless of the consequences and regardless of my conscience. Basically I choose my will over what I know deep down inside what is right. In addiction I did this unconsciously. I blocked out and numbed that power inside of me that would stop most people from doing the things I did. By numbing out this power, I was able to do the things my sick ego driven desires wanted to do. Today I’m aware of my ego driven thoughts and desires, as well as some undefined power inside of me that knows better. I’ve come to believe that the undefined power inside of me knows and wants what’s best for me. It loves me. This power is definitely greater than me. I don’t get caught up in the terminology of higher power anymore. It’s way too complicated and everyone has a different idea of it. I find in meetings we all use these words so that we are speaking the same language. It still uncomfortable for me to hear the words God and higher power, but I’m getting better at not complicating it.
Man, I’m sorry I rambled on so much, and I don’t know if what I said makes any sense to anyone except myself (and even that is questionable 
). I hope you find something to believe in. I did, and it happens to be myself. Not my ego, but my conscious.
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Like any self-respecting agnostic, doesn’t happen dude. Quit trying.
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Like how my reply took me about 10,000 words, while you did it in 2 sentences. Love your short and simple reply. You nailed it
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This last time in 30-day the imagery kinda just came to me. People are always saying “it could be a doorknob.” Terrible; do you know how many germs are on a doorknob?
It ended up being a big anchor that my vessel is tethered too as it sits at sea level and withstands the elements such as hurricane winds and tidal waves. Can never stray too far from where I am right now; a good place with a decent full time job and a sober living situation.
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I didn't bother. I'm more ambivalent than agnostic I guess. Don't really care either way if there is a higher power or not. Will never knock anyone for believing in a higher power, though. Just has never been a concept in my life.
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While there's something to be said for explaining yourself as brief and simply as possible, if you need to say all that to feel you've explained yourself properly then you absolutely should. Even if it's only for your own peace of mind.
Sometimes I can explain myself in 20 words or less. Other times, I need an essay to make sure I've explained the inconsistencies and intricacies of the feeling. Gotta do what you gotta do to make sure you're understood, as far as I'm concerned.
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There also are secular AA groups as well as AA alternatives.