This is very hard... Everyone I had is passed, not good for my sobriety or menta health.... I have crippling anxiety... I am dealing with so much I can't breathe.... BUT, I am still here... There is hope... I keep thinking of the end of True Detective Season one...I'm gonna butcher it but,.They are talking about a lot but, to simplify it.... Once there was only darkness (using the stars as an example...") Woody H's character basically says the dark has A LOT more territory.. Matthew McConaughey's character says.. "If you ask me the light is winning.." That is slightly out of order but, basically the fact there is ANY light/good piercing through all the dark/evil is incredible....Not that it needs to be broken down but, if you haven't seen the masterpiece that is the first season... You should watch it!!! It definitely shows how tragedy/pain can put you in a dark, bitter, miserable place.... But, ALSO how to overcome that mindset and find hope even if it's a tiny bit! I lost a child and REALLY connected with Matthew McConaughey's performance.... I ABSOLUTELY went into an incredibly DARK place I am still coming out of.... So in long... I am thankful for the few good things today... That I am alive... That I have a LITTLE more time to figure it out so im hopefully not homeless..... I am grateful for a little bit of peace today... And please if you read this PLEASE send love my way... Or if you pray please... I am in a TERRIBLE situation and I don't have ANYONE in my life to help me..... I am really scared and so overwhelmed... I know this is supposed to be JUST gratitude but, I don't know where else to post this... I really need to meet some good people/make new friends..
It's just so hard... My best friend died 4 years ago and I opened my heart to a girl in rehab and let her move into the house I lived at... She stole from me, took advantage of me in everyway... Gave me such a mental breakdown I had to leave... I called one of my ONLY friends he picked me up I grab my most important stuff and got away.... My last option was to move in with my friend who has a huge heart but, is a severe alcoholic who has been physically/EXTREMELY verbally abusive.... Anyway he is having to move and could only get a one bedroom... So I have maybe a week to figure it out or be homeless or stay at the new place in the living room I guess... I don't know it's too much! Sorry for going on for so long.... 
