My sponsor helped me through the 12 steps but then a disagreement. I don't believe you have to have the same sponsor or put as much effort for the next step working through mental health problems. I have counselor, trauma therapist, physyatrist. People keep pushing me by get a sponsor get a sponsor! I need a professional n9tba sponsor. Is this ok?
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I’m curious to see others thoughts as well! I think it’s important to have a sponsor and do the steps but I also agree that maybe it doesn’t have to be as quick and thorough if getting mental health treatment…I’m in a similar boat. I am taking baby steps to protect my mental health and I have no desire to drink so I think I’m good where I’m at..
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I also receive a lot of pressure to get a sponsor but don’t have one. I see my therapist weekly and she specializes in addiction, I see a psychiatrist and have found a good balance of medication, and I go to one womens AA meeting every week. It’s what works for me right now and if I start to struggle I know where to go to find a sponsor. Everyone’s journey is different and I don’t subscribe to the “get a sponsor and work the steps or you will relapse” message. Only you know what level of support you need.
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I’ve never had a sponsor might be y I struggle with the depression part of it
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There is no hard fast rule of having a sponsor. Pretty much the role is that of a mentor, or guide. And sponsors/sponsees can decide at any time to just walk away from the agreement.
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19 yrs sober here!!! A sponsor is a key component to your sobriety! It is very well suggested you have and keep one… now With that being said no you don’t have to continue with the same sponsor I’ve had three throughout my sobriety but my sponsors have all given me what I needed at every season of my life. Therapists, counselors , psychiatrist are all good if you need that extra mental health counseling but my suggestion is to definitely get a sponsor and work with them. I believe you can never have enough support through your sobriety journey!!
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Get a sponsor. You don't have to stay with a sponsor that isn't working out, but it is important to have one if you're serious about being sober.
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Hi Melissa,
I definitely understand your dilemma. You must do what's best for your continued recovery.
Everything isn't for everyone!
You and I have the similar supports, but not a sponsor. If that's working for you, then continue. People shouldn't be pressing you; ignore them.
I've been sober for 1516 days now. I never had a human sponsor. My sponsor is God; I don't go to AA meetings. Why? Because most AA meetings become hostile towards me when I bring up the underlying issues that lead to alcohol misuse. Childhood sexual & physical trauma, emotional neglect by my father wrote my script. Therapy helped to unravel that mess. I no longer need alcohol to deal with life. I'm sure people mean well, but they have no right to force their will on you.
I have my music as positive and healthy outlets. I sing and play instruments. I keep God first in my life.
All the best. Reach out to me if you wish to and need support.
Again, people pressuing you isn't healthy for you.
Good luck.
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You gotta do what’s best for you and your recovery. But mental health is also very important. Mental health and addiction go hand in hand. Therapist, psychologist’s and psychiatrist’s are crucial to that. Especially if you have some that specialize in addiction as well as mental health. A sponsor is just basically a mentor, not necessarily professionally trained to handle certain situations. You do what’s best for you, but in my personal and professional experience, I’d go with the trained professionals. But again, everybody recovery is individual to them, just cause one thing works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you, vice versa.
Disagreements with my sponsor usually go back to my level of willingness. Am I still trying to run the show? Direct the play? I have had a few sponsors and very few disagreements with them.
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Hi Melissa! A sponsor should be a positive part of your support team. Sponsors are human, and far from perfect. If its not helping you, then cut ties and move on. Perhaps you will meet another down the road. Keep an open mind to the possibility of having another one day. Have you cut out meetings too, or just the sponsor? Back in the day I didn’t have a sponsor, and I felt “bad” at meetings when people spoke about their sponsors and the importance of sponsors. Looking back, it may have played a part in why I stopped going. It didn’t end well for me lol. I do a ton of outside therapy and recovery, but the meetings and the fellowship of AA are the foundation to my recovery… this time.
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"God is my sponsor" hahahaha
Fonzi is my sponsor......
I think so. I have one that doesn’t really help.
C’mon Taylor…that’s not cool! I love your input and comments. I agree and relate to most of your opinions and suggestions. However, you seem to be intolerant when it comes to others beliefs in God. I’m sure it stems from others intolerance of your non belief, but 2 wrongs don’t make a right. We should all be more tolerant. None of us know Jack 
!
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I don’t have a sponsor. Never even considered it. That is just AA. Which is one system. It’s not for everyone. I think what the sponsor provides is a connection and someone who can help hold you accountable. So it could just be friends or family.
It’s very ok. I’m not into sponsors, they have no education or training but give medical and psych advice. If you have good doctors and therapists and are doing ok with your sobriety. I don’t think you need one. I’m 3 years sober, do AA twice a week and never had a sponsor.
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Stepwork and sponsorship are so vital to my recovery. I had about 5 years of dry time and I went back out for a year and a half because I didn’t have any recovery tools. Once I came back to AA and got a sponsor, dove into the book and the steps I can really see the difference between dry and sober. I think that outside help is extremely important but don’t lose sight of the wonderful thing that is having a sponsor!
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We all start off as turds—not diamonds—and no matter how much pressure is placed on us we can only accept/look at what we can, when we can. So, stick up for yourself, if you don’t use no matter what it will get better and when you get tired of your own b.s. as I did you work the steps and work them again. I just, with over 40 years clean and sober found Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families which give me access and understanding of so much—I suggest it to anyone who has this background as—I might finally be free of my biggest feelings of being alone and not being able to count on anyone. Love and Light, D
Haha come on man, it reminds me of those Jesus Is My CoPilot bumper stickers. I find it to be weird/silly. A sponsor is flesh and blood and answers you directly with no mystery. I didn't mean anything mean by it. There is a constant push for Jesus. So I will always be the constant push back. Programs are based on hard work. That's how they work, not ghost worship. I heard a lead tnight, and the guy was talking about prayer and meditation, and I thought it was strange that he thought prayer was totally normal but that "meditation" sound d like "some weird Buddhist sh5t" . I laughed out loud, but not because everyone else did. Because I thought he sounded like a fool. Reminded me of how the guys I used to work with would make fun of the Hindus we had at work, that their religion sounded silly. I'm like "you guys think there is an old man in the sky that sometimes helps you out and sometimes doesn't, like you're so special".
People be strange.
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Completely fine and totally appropriate in my opinion.