To whoever is reading this, it's just Michele,
Trying to find my way out of this personal he..
The mania is a spark, a bright, dangerous light,
The only time I feel like "me" is when I’m taking flight.
But the crash hits fast, a hollow, leaden weight,
Making me wonder if it’s already too late.
I’ve seen the others fall, the friends who went back out,
And watching their relapse fills my own heart with doubt.
I’m the student at SNHU, the ex, the one who tried,
But there’s a ghost of a craving still screaming inside.
It whispers that using is the only real cure
To make the manic stop and the lows less pure.
I’ve built this support, this circle of new faces,
But I’m still haunted by those empty, dark places.
I want the safety of the rehab floor—the "how," the "when,"
Because staying clean and staying here is a war again
Stay in the fight it get better in do time don't give up on yourself im here 
Pray 
to your higher power and ask for divine guidance
Thank you. That's means a lot. It's hard to find people that understand. So I appreciate that.
As the steps teaches you need to work a spiritual recovery. Surrender to your higher power and let him fight your battles, bc it sounds as if you're trying to do it by yourself. Trust and believe the desire will be removed and it shall come to pass 
Nice words needed that'
Your recovery is your own journey. You reach out when you need to get words out. Im almost 13 years sober and I dont get on my knees and pray. I pray when I want. That's my path. I was in rehab and never looked back. I did it because I went to meetings a lot in the beginning. I dont now because I was just walking out sad. Thats me. Everybody has a differant journey. Feel all the feels. Journal. If your spiritual, then be that. If you need to get on your knees, then do that. There are so many places to reach out to. You dont have to do your recovery inside a box. Talk with like minded clean and sober friends. Volunteer. That is a great way to get out of your own way. You can recovery. Its work to stay sober. Its ok tgat it dies. Your ding the right stuff already but reaching out. Celebrate tgat!
No words of wisdom here. No real sage advice or aspects of what you should or shouldn't do. All I can say is just try not to take it so seriously but enjoy the farce and breathe. Be safe and carry on the best ye can.
That you for the kind words
Healing vibes and positive thoughts. Moment to moment. It's a challenge and choice is a change no matter what happens you have to decide what is best for you everything you do is a choice you make minute by moment .
I appreciate that. It's hard. I'm trying
Its hard but you can do it
meetings meetings