Today for the first time in little over a year feel like a failure I feel like giving up my heart says keep fighting but my head is telling me just be done this pain that I carry Within Me I don't know how to release it and I know my sobriety is is and foremost the most important thing next to my children but for some reason my head my heart or screaming for help and I don't know where to turn besides this app
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I would suggest you look for AA / NA meetings, either in person meetings or virtual ones, whichever you think you may fit best. You will learn to build a support network. It is very important. You have to put the work in. Do you have a sponsor? If not those are places to find one. Although this ap is nice, it is not the only resource out there for those who struggle. Feel free to reach out.
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Keep hanging in there man! Phil's suggestion is spot on. 27 yrs off H and over a year off alcohol is fabulous for you! 
As I got sober I found out I had to get help for anxiety & depression; talking with a trained addiction/mental health therapist really helped me a lot. Keeping with AA mtgs, having a Higher Power, having a sponsor, do a daily gratitude list. 10 minutes at a time, 1 day at a time, don't give up. 
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I've been clean and sober for 399 days now and had just a few days where I felt tempted but overcame it bc I stayed praying for deliverance and reading the word. Now life is gorgeous most days filled with joy and peace, my higher power healed me spiritually emotionally mentally.
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Thank you every i needed body for your kind words I really appreciate it
Keep pushing! It gets way easier. In the meantime learn to do other things to calm you. Beach walk if possible, grounding, work out, meditation, prayer
AA or NA are always good choices, but they’re not there in the middle of the night. I’ll be sober four years in November. It took me a while to realize what I missed most about my addiction to alcohol, and that is, it’s almost laughable at how amazingly simple it really is, I missed alcohol so much because it was my coping tool. Plain and simple it is my coping tool when I was having a rough time I turned the thing that helped me get through the moment so I could get to the next day. So that craving you’re feeling right now is strictly your mind playing tricks on you. Think about it like this, a rusty broken old car that you buy from Facebook marketplace that breaks down constantly and isn’t reliable as a car, is not something you really need. Think about your need for, (-fill in the blank, for me it was alcohol) in that context, that your coping mechanism is like that rusty old car that doesn’t work. Once you’re able to wrap your mind on the fact that the toolbox of coping skills you put together is broken, you’ll abandon them and you’ll find more productive coping skills, such as AA or NA meeting or just empowering yourself by telling yourself NO to whatever addiction you suffer from.